my mom.
“Muffy. Talk to him.”
“I can’t. Kami, I told him why I left Blackwell. But I can’t tell him this.”
Her brows hit her hairline, and hurt flashes in her eyes.
Dammit.
This is exactly why I can’t have a relationship. Even when I’m not trying, I hurt the people I love. I grip her hands tighter and lean across the table. “He fainted at the funeral home. And I felt so bad. And then he told me some personal stuff, and I’d been drinking, and—”
“It’s okay.” She squeezes my hands, back to being calm, rational, kind Kami who would let anyone walk all over her.
Except she doesn’t do that anymore.
Not since she put her foot down with Nick a year ago.
“I’m terrified he’ll hurt me like my dad hurt my mom,” I whisper.
She smiles at me, and it’s like being wrapped in a hug. She’s not smiling because she’s happy. She’s smiling because she’s saying it’s okay, Muffy. You’ll be okay. “My mom told me once that your parents got married because your mom fell so in love with your dad at first sight that she hid all of her quirks and made herself into the woman she thought he wanted her to be. She didn’t think anyone would love her if she was herself, and after a while, she convinced herself that your dad knew who she really was deep down and loved her anyway, even though he had no clue. You don’t hide who you are. At least, I don’t think you do. Do you?”
I laugh, but it comes out more like a hiccup. “Believe me, if I were hiding who I am, I’d find a much more attractive package.”
“You’re not your mom, Muffy. And I don’t know what Tyler’s hang-ups are about relationships, but I know he’s not your dad. He likes you because of your quirks. He likes you because you don’t fit a mold. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. And if he doesn’t feel the same, you have something else your mom never had to help you get through it.”
“What?” I know the answer. I have her. But I want to hear her say it.
“You have Nick. He’ll make Tyler’s life hell until he’s begging for a trade and you never have to see him again.”
I snort with surprised laughter.
But I know she’s right.
I have her. And she has Nick, so by extension, I have Nick.
I also have my clients and friends. If things go south with Tyler, I’ll be okay.
I will be okay.
She’s right. I should talk to him.
Soon.
Maybe next week, if he hasn’t kicked Rufus and me out yet.
“Thank you.”
She leans across the table and hugs me, squishing the fish between us. “You’re welcome. Now, can we get out of here? My boobs are about to explode. I need to pump.”
34
From the texts of Tyler and Muffy
Tyler: If you get any messages from numbers you don’t recognize, ignore them. Ignore them all.
Muffy: Why? Did you leak my number to some lonely hockey player online group that passes around good numbers for phone sex?
Tyler: In case you’re unaware, it’s highly uncomfortable to sit on an airplane when you have a boner the size of Mount St. Helens, and you talking about phone sex is definitely giving me a boner the size of a mountain.
Muffy: I legit always wondered if penises were actually annoying. And now I know. Thank you. Also, I hope you can breathe with that many tons of dirt and rock in your crotch.
Tyler: This is where you tell me you’d lick me until I blew like a volcano if we were together.
Muffy: Would you actually jerk yourself off on an airplane surrounded by your teammates?
Tyler: This is why airplanes have bathrooms.
Muffy: OMG. *mind blown emoji* Do guys really do that? Do they really go into the bathroom mid-flight to jack off? I am never using an airplane bathroom again. Ew. Ew ew ew!
Tyler: What if we flew to Australia?
Muffy: Depends.
Tyler: On what?
Muffy: Not IT DEPENDS. I would WEAR DEPENDS.
Tyler: Sexy.
Muffy: I should not be turned on by you being turned on at the thought of me in adult diapers.
Tyler: Fuck. And I was just getting comfortable and not worried I’d make Klein self-conscious if he happens to notice I get bigger boners than he does.
Muffy: You are such a guy. And have you ever actually seen Klein have an erection? Do you know for sure yours is bigger?
Tyler: I forbid you from thinking about Klein raising his flagpole.
Muffy: *laughing emoji*
Tyler: