said she was seeing you with her husband for marriage counselling?’
‘She is. But Richard wouldn’t have left me if it hadn’t been for her. His affair… I think it made him decide that he was unhappy, and then that our relationship wasn’t worth saving.’ My tears come faster now. I miss Richard so much. I was prepared to give it another try, to give him a second chance. It was him who wanted out.
A thought occurs to me out of nowhere. ‘Do you think Danielle knew I was married to Richard when she started therapy?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She started therapy just after I found out that Richard had had an affair. Maybe she knew I was his partner. That’s why she chose me.’
‘Why would she do that?’
‘I don’t know.’ I scan my mind, trying to remember each session, if there were any hints. But I can’t think of anything that suggests she already knew who I was.
‘I think you need to speak to Richard. And then take it from there.’
‘Do you think I’m right, then? That they were seeing each other?’
‘I don’t know. The evidence you have; the Kate Winslet line, talking down to women, the brooch… it does seem suspicious in some ways. But it’s all circumstantial. There’s no way you can really know without asking.’
‘OK,’ I say. But I’m not sure I’m ready to hear the truth. Danielle might be having Richard’s baby. If that’s true, I’m not sure I can cope.
Suddenly I remember the photos in my bag. ‘There’s something else,’ I say triumphantly. ‘I have photos of them together.’
I take out the photos and lay them on the table.
‘What are these?’ Grace asks.
‘The photos I got in the post, the ones that someone sent to me to show me that Richard was having an affair. That’s her.’ I stab at Danielle’s head in the photo. ‘Right there. That’s Danielle.’
Grace leans over the photos and studies them. She stares intently at the one I was pointing at, of Richard outside the university.
Then she looks up at me. ‘These are all of the back of someone’s head,’ she says softly.
‘I know. But I recognise her.’
Grace reaches out and touches my hand. ‘I’m sorry, but there’s no way you could recognise someone from these. There’s no way anyone could.’
‘But it’s her,’ I insist. ‘Her hair’s slightly longer now, but it’s that exact shade of blonde.’
Grace looks at the clock on the wall. ‘Beth, we’ll be coming to the end of our session soon. I’d like to explore your feelings about this in more detail. Maybe we should book another session in as soon as we can?’
I frown. Grace and I see each other once a month. That’s the way it’s always been. ‘Why?’ I ask.
‘I’m worried about you. You know that as your supervisor, my role is to help you manage your caseload, to talk through any issues you’re having with your clients. And I think in this case, your own life is clouding your judgement on Danielle.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re looking for someone to blame for your split from Richard. And you think it could be your client he cheated with. But a lot of things don’t make sense. For a start, why would she have chosen you as her marriage counsellor to fix her own marriage if she’d slept with your partner?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘And do you have any evidence that Richard and Danielle have even met? Apart from the photos?’
I shake my head. ‘No.’
‘So what you’ve got to ask yourself is why you’ve become so fixated on Danielle. Whether this is really about her at all, or if it’s about you. I think you’re struggling to process losing Richard and you’re looking for someone to blame. Danielle just happens to be there.’
Thirty
Danielle
Peter’s agreed to come with me to the hospital for my scan. He’s spoken to his boss and told him he has an urgent medical appointment so he could get time off work at the last minute. I’m so glad he’s prioritising this appointment, and I feel a kernel of hope forming inside me. Is he coming round to the idea of the baby? I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have to bring it up on my own. My mother will be living with me by then, but I’m not sure how involved I want her to be.
I haven’t been able to sleep lately, unable to get comfortable, or stop the thoughts swirling around my mind. And every time I roll over