had several drinks, but I feel sober as a priest. I end up turning the cold water on and splashing it in my face. Fuck makeup. I’m done with this night. Mike is right—I need to get out of here. If he gets up there and sings another song, I’ll lose it.
I leave and let the next girl in then make my way through the hallway.
And there he is.
His back is leaned against the wall, arms are crossed.
He’s not in line; he’s waiting on me.
Electric blue eyes pin me and don’t let go.
I straighten my shoulders and walk his way, stop in front of him.
I’m acutely aware that there are people all around us, but I tune them out and focus on him.
His face is made of stone, and except for that hand-tapping, you’d think he was perfectly relaxed.
I’m under his skin; otherwise why push me away so hard?
But I need more than him just wanting me; I need him to be in this as deep as I am. I need him to feel as empty as I do when he’s not around, to ache and want to spend every moment with me.
I love him. Those feelings started freshman year when we kissed, and no matter how much I try to ignore how I felt, it only escalated when we spent time together last fall.
Love hurts; I know it does. Love is opening yourself up like a book, letting someone see your secrets with every paragraph and page exposed, knowing that the person you’re showing it to can walk away at any minute. And maybe he will.
Love only works if you try, if you take a chance.
What if…what if I don’t care if all he can say is I want you?
I let that idea linger, settle, and take hold.
My chest hitches as we stare at each other. I think about those songs he sang to me in my room, the song he sang tonight.
If he’s been waiting for something from me, here I am.
What else do I have to lose?
His date pops up next to him, her hand curled around that bicep like it’s hers. She’s young, maybe a freshman, and so dang pretty. She’s exactly right for him, her height just a few inches shorter than his in her heels, her frame slender and perfect. My stomach twists. I can see her and him; it works in my head…so much better than we do.
But, I shove those insecurities down.
F her.
She doesn’t know the man I know. He’s never sang “Break Up in a Small Town” to her.
Whoever she is, I reach out and peel her fingers off him, and I guess she’s too surprised to stop me. She gapes at me, and I smile tightly. Hey, little freshman, my eyes say, you don’t know me, but right now you’re holding something I want. Back the fuck off.
I take two steps until I’m against him. My hands slide up around his chest to his shoulders, my palms pressed tight, so tight against his hard chest. His eyes don’t even widen as he watches me, never dropping my gaze.
“Excuse me?” says the girl. “You have your hands on my date!”
“He’s not yours,” I say, looking at him.
She huffs.
“Give us a minute,” Blaze tells her, his voice low, eyes on me.
I think back to Cadillac’s and Dani plastered to his side.
He never fucking looked at Dani when I was there.
He’s not looking at this girl either.
It was me every time.
We don’t speak. We don’t have to. My hands find the base of his skull and I pull on the hair there, soft and then harder, until his mouth opens slightly. Standing on my tiptoes, I press my lips to his, our mouths touching, so soft. Tears prick at my eyes when he doesn’t give me one inch, not with his tongue or with a move to pull me close. I’m accosting him in front of the bathroom line like a crazed fan and—
I don’t care. God…this.
He smells and feels like everything that’s precious, just like I knew he would. The sun, the moon, the sky. I sigh and say his name, tilting my head to fit his mouth full-on. My teeth nip at his bottom lip. My nipples bead and my breasts press into him, the feel of him under me like a hot brand on my skin. It’s not even his skin, just a stupid shirt, but it…it licks at me.
I kiss him hard, my hands now cupping his cheeks, giving