this time, “we shall be friends again, but only friends.”
He waited and, after a moment, Abigail nodded.
“As such,” Nathanial continued, his thoughts once more straying to Charlaine, “we wish each other well. We are each free to search for a new love, for fulfillment and happiness.”
Again, Nathanial waited, and again, Abigail nodded.
“I also believe that it would be right for you to apologize to Zach,” he said, still feeling a slight twinge at the memory of what had happened. “For giving away our father’s ring.”
Abigail nodded most vehemently. “I assure you I will. I am most sorry for what I have done, and I only hope that, one day, he will be able to forgive me as well.”
Nathanial nodded, suddenly feeling lighter than he had before. Indeed, facing one’s past—as painful and tormenting as it was—was also freeing. He was a new man now, one no longer tied to the demons of his past. It was time to move on and, finally, Nathanial felt ready to do so.
Inevitably, his thoughts were drawn to Charlaine and the warmth she bestowed on everyone around her, including him. Oh, how he missed her! She had been his friend only a short while, but after not seeing her this past day, Nathanial already longed to return to her side. If only they, too, could be friends again! If only she would look at him again with those dark eyes of hers and smile!
Perhaps he ought to speak to her.
Perhaps tomorrow.
Perhaps he could win her friendship back.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
We Are Who We Are…Or Aren’t We?
A sennight had passed since Nathanial had left without a word.
Would he ever come back? That was the question first and foremost on Charlaine’s mind when she woke, when she went to bed and all the moments in-between. Her thoughts were distant, no longer focused on the here and now, but constantly replaying the moment at the lake, the moment Nathanial had kissed her, but also the moment he had turned away.
Remembering his regret over what had happened unerringly drew her thoughts to the letter he had left in his chamber.
And to Abigail.
Picking up her pace, Charlaine strode through the meadow, cutting a wide circle around the lake, unable to bear even a glimpse at it. Temperatures had dropped, and she pulled her shawl around her shoulders, casting a wary glance up at the gray skies. The wind tugged on her hair, swirling it around her face, and she wondered at the sudden changes that seemed to find her so frequently.
Abigail had come to England to see Nathanial. At this very moment, she was at Pembroke Hall with him, for Charlaine had no doubt that was where he had gone in such a hurry. He still loved her, did he not? She had broken his heart, and yet, the moment she called, the moment there was a sliver of hope to reclaim her, Nathanial had left.
Charlaine’s feet stilled and she turned into the wind, allowing it to brush the hair from her face. What would she do now?
Clearly, whatever Nathanial might have felt for her did not hold a candle to what he still felt for Abigail. That was clear now, and Charlaine knew that she needed to make her peace with it and move on.
Anger and disappointment had claimed her whole the first few days after Nathanial had left. She had cursed and yelled, charging on horseback across the meadow until her limbs felt so weary she was certain they would fall off.
Still, it had been the right thing to do for it had calmed the anguish in her heart. With her body exhausted, she had been able to think more clearly and look at everything in a nonemotional way.
The truth was that Nathanial loved Abigail. He always had, and it seemed he always would. And now that Abigail had finally realized what she had so carelessly given up, the promise of a happy future rose before them.
But what about me? A small voice whispered from deep inside.
“You promised to be his friend,” Charlaine told herself as well as the wind as it tugged on her curls, its gentle touch like a caress upon her cheek. “And he promised you the same. He never lied about Abigail or what she meant to him. He never promised you more than friendship.” She sighed. “But then he left without a word.”
With a heavy heart, Charlaine turned away from the far horizon and slowly made her way back toward the house. The chilling air