me to be his friend.” A frustrated growl rose from her throat. “Ugh! I knew this would happen!” She spun around and began pacing again. “Did I not say that he needed me to be his friend?” she demanded, her eyes turning to Caroline. “Did I not say that this could not be about what I wanted? But about what he needed?”
“And…what is it that you want?”
“I—” Meeting Caroline’s inquisitive gaze, Charlaine stilled. “I want…I, too, want him to be my friend.”
Caroline’s brows rose questioningly. “Only your friend?”
A sharp breath left Charlaine’s lips. “Speak plainly, would you?” she snapped, getting annoyed with Caroline’s circumspect way of drawing out what she wished to know. “This is most irritating!”
To Charlaine’s surprised, Caroline laughed. “You’re angry,” she observed with utter amusement in her voice. “I admit, to this day, I’ve never seen you angry.” Caroline’s head bobbed up and down as she stepped toward Charlaine, once again reaching for her friend’s hands. “Listen to me, and I will speak plainly.”
Charlaine huffed out an agitated breath, but nodded.
“You love him,” Caroline told her, hurrying on when Charlaine opened her mouth to object. “It is clear as day, and it is probably the reason why he ran away.”
Charlaine flinched. “You think…he left because he doesn’t l—”
“No, he ran because he loves you as well and is afraid of what that might mean.” Caroline squeezed her hands. “He’s afraid to lose you, to lose what you two found in each other. You’re friends, yes, and that is a great treasure. I think you both know that, and you’re both afraid to lose each other if you dare to reach for more.”
Charlaine stilled as Caroline’s words echoed in her heart. Indeed, Nathanial had come to mean a great deal to her in these past few months. They had spoken to each other without restraint, shared the most painful moments of their lives with each other. They had offered comfort and received the same in return. They had teased each other and laughed together. They had been friends in every possible meaning of the word, but…
…but then something had changed.
Charlaine could no longer think of Nathanial without remembering the moment in the stables or at the lake. She had lain awake most of the previous night, replaying their kiss in her mind, recalling every single touch of his hands upon her skin, the way his lips had felt pressed to hers, the way she had ached for the closeness, the intimacy she had felt in that moment.
Nathanial was the one who knew her like no one else in the world. She had shared everything with him, and she could no longer imagine a life without him. Her heart needed him as her body needed its next breath, and the thought of facing this world, its joys as well as its heartache, without him felt utterly devastating.
“I love him,” Charlaine whispered, shocked that such a simple truth had eluded her. “I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before. I…”
Caroline brushed a curl behind Charlaine’s ear. “You, too, were afraid, dearest. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, the way you speak to each other. He’s come to mean the world to you, and it made you afraid.”
Charlaine nodded. “I promised I’d be his friend,” she said, remembering how insistent he had been upon it. “I promised I did not wish for more.” She met Caroline’s gaze. “When we met, he thought I wanted him as a suitor and he said he wasn’t interested.” A dark chuckle rumbled in her throat. “He was very clear about what he wanted…or rather about what he didn’t want.”
“He didn’t know you at the time,” Caroline whispered gently. “He was hurt and afraid of being hurt again, but then he got to know you.” An encouraging smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “I think realizing how much you mean to him overwhelmed him as well.”
“What do I do now?” Charlaine asked, completely at a loss. “He left, and I…”
“You write to him,” Caroline replied with vehemence. “Or better yet, go after him. Don’t let him get away.” A wicked twinkle came to her eyes. “Men sometimes need a nudge in the right direction.”
Charlaine chuckled. “Even Pierce?”
“Even Pierce,” Caroline confirmed with a smirk. “If you want Nathanial, then you need to tell him. Be honest. Is that not what you promised him?”
Charlaine sighed. “I also promised him to be his friend and nothing more. It seems one promise I’ll have