without a best man, could they?
“I’m sure he’ll just have to pay a fine or something,” Crystal reassured her. “It was an accident. And it’s Jackson Knight.”
Allie sighed. Yeah, yeah, Jackson Knight. The hot hometown hero. She was sure Crystal was right and Jackson would be out in plenty of time for the wedding.
The music came back up and the bridesmaids squealed and started shaking their stuff, the minidrama with Jackson and Hayley forgotten.
And Allie went right back to wishing for more liquor and thinking about Gavin. Not necessarily in that order.
“You know, maybe you should call him or something,” Crystal said over the music.
Allie turned from looking for a waitress to face her friend. “What?”
“Maybe you should call him. Just, you know, check in. Get your mind focused.”
“You think I should call Gavin?” Why did that sound like a great idea?
Crystal frowned. “Of course not. You should call Josh.”
“Oh.” She definitely shouldn’t feel disappointed about that idea. Josh was the man she was going to be calling for the rest of her life.
Gavin hadn’t even called her after her mom died.
She should not want to talk to him now.
And now that she was getting married? She definitely hadn’t heard from him. Did he know? Did he care? Obviously not. Obviously he’d moved on.
But if he were getting married—she felt a sharp stab in her chest at that thought—she’d call him. She had no idea what she’d say, but she would call. Maybe say something like “Congratulations” or “I wish you the best” or “Is she anything like me?” or “Do you ever think of me?” or “Don’t do it!”
Allie covered her face with her hands. She would not call and say any of that stuff if he were getting married. If he were getting married, it would mean that he was over her. Obviously.
But…what if it didn’t? Her getting married didn’t mean she was over him. It just meant that a really great guy wanted to make a life with her, a life that would be completely wonderful. She’d be an idiot to say no to Josh.
Josh would help her. Now that her mom was gone—another stabbing pain caught Allie in the chest, and she had to stop and breathe through it for a moment—her dad and brothers needed her more than ever. Almost too much. Someone had to help her with that, and Josh was the perfect one. He knew her family, knew their secrets, knew how to help. And he was here. Gavin sure as hell wasn’t.
Yeah. That’s why Josh was the best.
And everyone should know that.
Allie pulled her phone from her pocket and thumbed through her contacts. Gavin was the first G. She pressed his name and Call and waited for it to ring. She didn’t even know if this was still his number.
It went to voice mail. But it was definitely his voice mail.
His deep, familiar voice swept over her and she felt like crying.
Then the beep sounded and she got mad again. It was the middle of the night and she was calling him. Shouldn’t he at least be curious? If he’d called her she would most definitely be curious. She’d pick up for sure. If he was screening her calls, she was going to be pissed. Not that she would know. But still…
“Gavin,” she said. “This is Allie. I want you to know that you should be here. That’s what I need. You to be here. And I just thought you should know that. And you should know…all the other stuff too.” She felt like she was trying to see through fog. Nothing was clear. She wanted him to know…something. Something about…someone. Who? Crystal? No, he didn’t know Crystal. Maybe it was about her. Yeah, probably. “I want you to know that…” She frowned, wracking her alcohol-soaked brain. The next song started and Whitney Houston’s voice floated over her. Oh, she loved this song. It was old, but it was a classic love song. She started to sway, the phone still against her ear. She pulled the phone away and stared at it. Gavin. She’d called Gavin.
The man she wished was here, the guy she wanted to be at the end of the aisle tomorrow.
Her eyes welled with tears. He wouldn’t be, and she couldn’t call him again after she married Josh. This was her last chance to tell him what she really felt.
She started to sing along. “And I…will always love you…”
It was amazing how much she sounded like Whitney, Allie marveled.