last to arrive, since every chair is filled with the exception of one, right next to Eleanor.
Great. Eleanor. My most romantic and sensitive friend. She’ll take one look at me, mention Carter’s name, and I’ll be crying buckets in seconds.
I need a mimosa. In fact, I need to make that request, stat.
“Have you guys already ordered drinks?” I ask as I sit down. I don’t even bother greeting everyone, which is not my usual style.
They all look at each other with confusion and Caroline is the one who answers me. “I ordered mimosas for everyone.”
“Oh thank God.” The utter relief I feel has me sagging in my chair. “It’s been a terrible week.”
“So I’ve heard,” Caroline says cryptically before she shoots a mysterious glance in Sarah’s direction.
Worry fills me. What did she mean by that? Did she talk to Sarah? Or worse, did she talk to Carter? Oh God, did Carter tell her that we’ve been sleeping together? And why do they call it that anyway? Sleeping together? When we were together in my bed, there was very little sleeping going on…
Just thinking of being with Carter leaves my enter body aching.
I’m a mess.
“Your eyes are so red,” Eleanor observes with a little tsk, reaching out to lightly rest her hand on my arm. “You weren’t out drinking last night, were you?”
How would she like it if I told her I was at home crying last night? I’d probably earn some major sympathy for that admission. “I’ve not been sleeping well lately.”
“Why is that?” The sneaky look on her face tells me she’s making some assumptions. “Doesn’t have to do with a certain man you’re living with, does it?”
“Sshh.” I kick her under the table and incline my head in Caroline’s direction, who’s sitting across from us. “I don’t want her to hear us.”
“Hear you two what?” Caroline asks, pinning us with her blue gaze. I never realized until this very moment that Caroline’s eyes are just like her brother’s.
Big and blue and all-seeing.
“Nothing.” I smile. Wave my hand. “We might be planning super-secret bridal shower stuff.”
Ugh. That is the last thing I want to talk about. Weddings and showers and happiness and bullshit.
“Ooh, that sounds interesting.” Caroline smiles. “Do tell.”
“If we tell you, then it isn’t a secret any longer,” Eleanor says, and that launches into an entire discussion about bridal shower details and how it’s coming up soon. I’m in charge of the party, along with Sarah, and when Sarah tells me we need to get together ASAP to discuss some details, I know I’ve been a shit friend who’s wallowing in her own sad feelings.
“Maybe we can talk about it after brunch?” I suggest.
“I wish I could, but I have to meet up with Jared,” Sarah says with a slight frown. “Maybe later this week?”
“Sure.” I nod, wishing we could get it over with and talk about the stupid shower today. Just thinking about Caroline’s upcoming wedding makes me nervous.
I’ve been a bundle of nerves all week, worried about this and that and everything. When I came home Wednesday after work, Carter had moved all of his stuff out, and I have no idea where he went, or who he moved in with. I didn’t dare ask anyone if they knew where he was, not even Caroline, though she probably thinks it’s odd I haven’t spoken to her about Carter’s leaving at all.
I thought it would be a relief, to know that he was gone. I didn’t have to deal with him anymore. But all I felt was bone-deep sadness, seeing his empty room, knowing he was never coming back.
I cried. And then I cried some more.
Who knew a human being could produce so many tears?
Everyone’s chatting all around me and I remain quiet, talking only when spoken to, not starting any conversations, which is completely unlike me. When Kelsey asks if I’m okay, I tell her that I’m getting over a cold, and that answer satisfies her. It seems to satisfy everyone.
By the time brunch is over, most everyone is gone except me, Caroline and Eleanor. Everybody else had somewhere to be.
I’m glad Sarah made me come today. Being with my friends has been the perfect distraction from what happened a few days ago.
“I wanted to talk to you about Carter,” Caroline starts, making my heart drop into my stomach.
Oops. There went my distraction.
I can feel Eleanor tense up next to me and I’m so tempted to tell her to relax.
But I remain quiet.
“What about him?”