to shut the hell up.
“You two had sex?” Eleanor asks, her voice squeaking on the last word. Sometimes I wonder if she’s a virgin, but then she will tell a story about a terrible date and how he couldn’t find most of her female parts and it reminds me that she’s just had bad experiences. The poor thing. “You and Carter?”
I nod, my face going hot all over again.
“Does Caroline know?” Sarah asks.
I shake my head furiously.
Their mouths hang open and it’s almost comical, seeing them all looking at me in the same way. Like they can’t believe it.
Well, girlies, I can’t believe it either.
Eight
“Tell us, Stella. What are you going to do?” Eleanor asks.
The pub is mostly empty, and the only ones who remain from my friend group are Sarah and Eleanor. The evil one and the good one is how I’ve labeled them in my head tonight. I’ve had too much to drink, but I can stagger back home relatively safely, since I live so close. Eleanor and Sarah have already discussed Lyft or Uber arrangements, so they’re fine. They’re also a little drunk, like me.
Though I might be winning in the who drank too much tonight race.
Right before our friends left, I moved on from beer to a couple of tequila shots, which was a huge, massive mistake. Tequila is nasty. It isn’t your friend; its only goal is ultimately to make you feel bad.
“What am I going to do about what? The hangover I’m going to have tomorrow when I have to get up so early for work?” I grab hold of my head with both hands and groan. “It’ll be a rough morning, I’m sure of it.”
“No, not about that.” Eleanor pushes a full glass of water toward me. “Drink more water, that should help.”
“She’s asking about Carter. Specifically you living with Carter,” Sarah says, sending Eleanor a look. The good one nods and the evil one smiles, as if they’re on the same mental plane.
Ughhh, they’re so smug.
“I’m avoiding him.” I love my friends and I love spending time with them, but half the reason I’m here tonight is so I’m not at home. Alone.
With Carter.
Look, I’m a total homebody. I like my little apartment, and I really liked sharing it with Caroline, but that ship has sailed.
I actually didn’t mind the idea of being alone. Growing up, I was never alone. Not really. Privacy was something to be savored, and about the only place I had it was in my bedroom—thank God I didn’t have to share a room with my brothers—or the bathroom. And even then, nothing was guaranteed. Only once I started my period was I able to prevent my brothers from just barging into the bathroom we all shared with the door that never locked properly. All I had to do was scream, “My vagina is bleeding!” and they hightailed it out of there. They probably thought my period never stopped, I used it as an excuse so much.
But back to my place. I have my things, I have Netflix and Prime and Hulu and a couple of magazine subscriptions (so old-fashioned, I know) and I also like to read. My Kindle app is full of books I hoard yet never make time to read, so I have constant entertainment at my fingertips. I date on occasion, used to hook up more often, but they’re all…not it.
And after the Carter Abbott hookup, I sort of gave up on guys in general because that night was just so idealized. Like, absolute perfection.
Was it the thrill? The unexpectedness of it all? I never looked at Carter that way before. Yes, I thought he was attractive, but he automatically went into the no-fly zone because he’s Caroline’s brother. The forbidden nature of our hookup, the fact that it was Carter, the fact that it happened with no real build up. It was a true one-night stand in every sense of the word, plus the alcohol helped me release my inhibitions completely—this all equaled the ultimate sexual experience for me.
Multiple orgasms will put a man on a pedestal, this is what I’ve discovered.
“Why are you avoiding him?” Eleanor asks, pulling me from my thoughts. “From what you implied, it sounds like it was a pretty hot night. You don’t want a repeat performance?”
I didn’t go into too much detail, and I think that’s why they believe it was a pretty hot night, as Eleanor said. She’s not wrong.
It was an amazing night.
“It’s really uncomfortable