just wanted someone around. Or at least, someone who would come back. That sounds really ungrateful now that I hear it out loud, because I know how many people love me but have their own lives, and I can’t expect them to make me the center of the world. I hope you get what I mean.”
If he looked at me, I had no idea, because he was only quiet for a moment before saying, “I get what you mean. I hated how much your parents left. I still don’t get how they could just stay away so much. And I remember how sad you were when Connie moved away to go to school after community college.”
“I didn’t get how they could leave so much either, not for a long time. I’ve tried talking to them about it, but all they said was that they thought I’d do better settled somewhere. That I was safe and in good hands. That I could ask Connie how much it sucked moving around every year. Honestly, even though I was perfectly fine without them, I still resent them a little for just leaving us with Mamá Lupe, even though I know how much they help other people with their work. It makes me feel guilty. Selfish. But you know, everyone has to go and live their lives and fulfill their destinies so… I try to focus on myself too. And I know better now than to expect too much from anyone.”
I peeked at him, and he was already looking at me.
“What about you? You’ve never met anyone you liked enough to think about settling down?” I asked.
His nostrils flared a little, but he shook his head. “Nah. There’s a lot of lovely women out there, but in Paw-Paw’s words, none of ’em have ever made me feel more than fondness for ’em. And you know, with the way my daddy treated Mama—disappearin’ as soon as he found out she was pregnant—I don’t want anybody wastin’ too much of their time on me if I’m not plannin’ on spendin’ too much time with them.” He shrugged. “And, Peewee, I don’t know if I could trust some somebody enough to feel that kinda way about ’em.”
I snickered, but I understood his point. “Well, maybe someday you’ll meet someone that you do want wasting all their time on you. Maybe it’s like football teams; you just have to find the right people, the right person. Someone worth your trust. But if you don’t, maybe one day we can be neighbors in a retirement home. We can have the future Baby Boogie come visit us.”
He chuckled. “I can already picture you harassin’ the male employees at the home, askin’ them about their nuts.”
I burst out laughing. “I only ask people I trust questions like that.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But for real… at least tell me, did they put makeup on your butt cheeks because they—”
His whole body was laughing. “You need to go to sleep.”
The last thing I remembered before dozing off was both of us laughing over his butt cheeks and why he wouldn’t just give me an answer. My cheeks had started hurting, I knew that much.
What I also knew was that sometime later on, I heard Zac whispering, “In here with me. Let her sleep…. Yeah, she’s good.”
I was fairly certain I felt something brush over my head, over my ear, and touch my cheek.
I must have fallen back asleep, because the next thing I knew, I woke up in a dark room… with my face in a clean-scented armpit.
My arm was thrown over something hard and soft at the same time. My feet were hanging off the edge of the bed. And I was pretty sure I had drooled all over my cheek.
Zac was on his back, with an arm thrown over his eyes. His head was to the side and tucked in, breathing steadily into my hair. Calm and wonderful.
He was smiling even in his sleep.
That was when I realized where his other arm was. Wedged between us. He was holding my hand.
That was when I knew I was in trouble.
Chapter Fourteen
“He’s in a mood today,” Deepa whispered to me two weeks later after I’d gotten back from lunch.
The muscles along my shoulders tensed up. I didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. I knew. Just like I’d known that he was showing up around noon and that’d I’d have the morning without Gunner’s overbearing presence.
You know, because I checked the schedule every day.
“Why?” I