some more, and I watched his eyes flick down to where I pointed, his face still confused.
I reached over and patted his bare knee. “But that was a long time ago. I promise I haven’t thought of you like that in a whole lot of years.”
He just kept on looking at me, not moving away, just… there. On the bed. Watching me.
Shit. “What?” I suddenly and instantly regretted opening my fat trap. I should have just stayed quiet and let it go to the grave with me. “I’m sorry for saying something. I didn’t think you’d care. I thought you’d laugh.”
It took a second, but in the following one, I could tell, I could tell, he forced the tight smile onto his face.
And my freaking stomach sank down to my toes.
Past my toes. Straight down through the Earth’s crust.
“Zac…,” I started to say. God, why the hell had I opened my mouth? Dumb, Bianca. I instantly faced forward and figured I might as well try and go downstairs to get a key.
Zac’s hand went to my leg, those long fingers wrapping around the kneecap, swallowing it whole. “Hey.” His eyes met mine, and there wasn’t a hint of panic or disgust on his face. But there wasn’t joy or that easygoing expression that came so naturally to him either. His forehead was furrowed, and his lips looked a little tight, but I didn’t know what to make of it. “Why you tensin’ up?”
I was tense. Exhaling, I tried to shake it off.
As I did, I knew I wasn’t imagining him scooting over close. His mostly bare thigh lined up to mine, his hand was still on my knee, the tips of his fingers anchored around the bone.
It took a second, but I finally glanced at him, feeling my lips pressed together. “I’m sorry, Zac. I didn’t think you’d care.”
“Hey.” What had to be his fingertip nudged at my chin, drawing my face higher. He wasn’t frowning, but he wasn’t smiling either.
I looked into his eyes, noticing just how long and pretty his nearly golden eyelashes were, how the area right around the pupil was a shade of bright blue that bled out the further away it got. And when his fingertip slid along my jaw and gently tapped at a spot halfway to my ear, I held my breath. What was he going to do? Tell me he didn’t want to be my friend anymore? That wasn’t Zac. That would never be him.
It wasn’t like I blamed him for not loving me back or even liking me back. I had never and would never hold that against him.
He still wasn’t smiling. He just… looked.
He looked and looked and looked.
Right into my freaking eyes. A little over my face. Lingering on the corner of my mouth where I’d pointed.
And he didn’t say anything.
A minute passed, maybe two, but it felt like half an hour.
This was up to me. This was just Zac. There was nothing to be scared of. This person was my friend.
I snuck my hand over and was just about to set it on his thigh but detoured it to land on his forearm, and I was going to ignore just how muscular and tight it was. “Hey, I’m sorry. I promise it was a long time ago. You’re one of my best friends, and I would never want to ruin this between us. I honestly thought you’d laugh. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” he replied instantly, gaze unflinching. “There’s nothin’ for you to apologize for.”
“But there is. I didn’t mean to make you feel weird.”
That fingertip smoothed its way back down to my chin, and I was pretty sure another finger landed right next to it. The lines across his forehead got deeper. “Bianca, I don’t think there’s a thing you could do to make me feel weird.”
I wasn’t so sure about that.
The hand on my knee gave it a squeeze. “You caught me off guard is all. I didn’t know. I had no idea. Boog never said nothin’. Nobody did.”
“Because it wouldn’t have changed anything. Connie knew. Boogie put it together himself, but you know he wouldn’t have teased me over it. He’s too nice with that sort of thing.” I let go of his forearm and set my hand on top of the one he had on my leg. “I was a kid. It didn’t mean anything.”
His jaw did this weird thing, and I could see his nostrils flare for a