to go with you? I didn’t invite you to ruin my day off either.” She winged a midnight-colored eyebrow upward and asked, “How long are you planning on hiding out here anyway?”
I shook my head. “Dunno. But I’m not in a hurry to head home.”
She sighed and closed the fridge with more force than necessary. “You have to head back and face her eventually. Do you know how shitty you’ll feel if she leaves for school or something and you don’t get the chance to say goodbye or clear the air? I get that you’re mad and confused. I totally understand that you’re hurting, but you guys have been in each other’s lives for too long to just let everything go without closure.”
It was my turn to lift my eyebrows in question. “Really? Because I’ve known you just as long as I’ve known Aston, and the last time we were together, you left without a word and refused to come back or even see me again. You only text back if I threaten to tell your parents you’re out of communication, and you never answer me if I call you. How come I owe Aston some kind of closure, but you don’t owe me anything?” It forever lived under my skin that she’d written me off so easily, regardless of all that we’d been through together, both good and bad.
A heavy silence settled between the two of us as we stared at each other without blinking. There was so much between the two of us, often there didn’t seem like there were enough words in the world to encompass it all, but the way we looked at each other spoke volumes.
My mother once told me that someone could always hide what was in their heart, but what they were really feeling was always reflected honestly in their eyes. I wondered what Bowe saw when she looked at me because I knew what I saw when I looked at her.
Longing.
Regret.
Confusion.
Frustration.
And not too long ago, I could’ve sworn what was in those molten depths was love… and hate.
“You owe Aston because you love her and she loved you. I don’t owe you anything because you and I are nothing to each other. We aren’t friends. We aren’t family. And we aren’t lovers. All we are is two people who can’t seem to escape each other because our parents keep forcing us to spend time together. It’s so annoying.” She huffed out a breath and flounced by me, but I could see that it was all bravado. My question had shaken her a little bit. “I’ll go with you, but only because I want to eat, and I want to make sure you don’t buy too much stuff that indicates your stay will be extended. You aren’t welcome here, Ry. I’m not going to be your safe haven indefinitely.”
I watched her disappear into the bathroom, leaning back on a counter in the kitchen as I told only the walls, “But you’ve always been my safe haven.”
Even if she didn’t realize or acknowledge it, she was always the person I turned to when I needed someone to make me feel better. When I had nothing left to give, she was the one who filled my tank back up. Sometimes she topped it off with poison, but I’d grown accustomed to the bitter taste.
It was uniquely hers and stood out from the sweetness that everyone else brought to the table. It’s why she lingered the way no one else did.
First and foremost, thank you to each and every one of you who picked up this book. (Especially if this is your second round with this particular title.) I know most of my readers are waiting on the edge of their seats for the next-gen of the Marked Men since I dropped that info in the back of my last two books, but it’s the readers who picked up both Goldilocks and A Righteous Man who I decided to write the kids’ books for.
YOU! Yes, you, the one reading this right now, are the reason I’m jumping back into a world I swore I would never, ever revisit. Your loyalty and support mean everything, and I honestly feel like I owe you those stories as a small thank you for making sure I’m still here, even though I stopped writing what most of my original readers wanted a very long time ago.
And an extra heartfelt thank you to anyone who has or will take a few minutes to leave a review. I hate sounding like a broken record every time I release a book, but reviews really do help, and leaving one is the very best thing you can do for a new release and an author. And in case you hate the book and worry about a bad review being unwelcome, that isn’t the case. Any honest review is helpful and super encouraged. Never trust a book with no bad reviews…lol.
Of course, there would be no book, good, bad, or ugly, without my creative team. One of my favorite parts of publishing a book independently is getting to handpick the folks I want to work with. I think I have the best of the best and cannot recommend Hang, Elaine, and Beth enough. They are worth every single penny. You can find their info at the beginning of this book.
I owe my beta team the world. I think I finally have this author thing figured out nearly a decade into it, with over thirty books published. But without fail, I learn something new and figure out a way to be better and write better books each time they hand a rough draft back to me. I appreciate them so much. It’s such a huge deal for anyone to offer their time and talent for the benefit of someone else. Seriously, they show up regardless of how tight the turnaround time is or how awful my initial draft is. My beta team really is the best. Pam, Teri, Alexandra, Kelly, Cheron, Sarah, and Karla all bring something invaluable to the table. I couldn’t imagine putting out a book without having them be the first eyes on it.
Last, but certainly not least, is my undying gratitude to my assistant Melissa. She takes on any challenge I throw her way, usually with a smile and the occasional curse word. She’s southern, so she excels at the first and is adorable when she does the second. She forces me to see the glass as half full, even on the hardest of days. I feel like we’ve accomplished so much and grown together. We’ve worked together for a long time, and I think all the best parts of both of us have rubbed off on one another. She remains one of the kindest, most compassionate humans I’ve ever met, even when the world feels like it is constantly on fire.
Below is a list of all the places you can find me if you want to reach out:
Facebook.com/groups/crownoverscrowd
Bookbub: bookbub.com/authors/jay-crownover
Website: jaycrownover.com
My store: shop.spreadshirt.com/100036557
FB page: Facebook.com/AuthorJayCrownover
Twitter: twitter.com/jaycrownover
Instagram: instagram.com/jay.crownover
Pinterest: pinterest.com/jaycrownover
Spotify and Snapchat: Jay Crownover
Email: JayCrownover@gmail.com
Jay Crownover is the international and multiple New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Marked Men series, the Saints of Denver series, the Point series, the Breaking Point series, the Getaway series, and the Loveless, Texas series. Her books have been translated into many different languages all around the world. She is a tattooed, crazy-haired Colorado native who lives at the base of the Rockies with her awesome dogs. She can frequently be found enjoying a cold beer and taco Tuesdays. Jay is a self-declared music snob and outspoken book lover who is always looking for her next adventure, between the pages and on the road.
If you’re interested in my other books, you can check them out here:
The Marked Men Series: https://www.jaycrownover.com/markedmenseries
The Saints of Denver Series: https://www.jaycrownover.com/saintsofdenver
The Point Series: https://www.jaycrownover.com/welcometothepoint
The Breaking Point Series: https://www.jaycrownover.com/thebreakinpoint
The Getaway Series: https://www.jaycrownover.com/thegetawayseries
The Loveless Series: https://www.jaycrownover.com/copy-of-stand-alones
Standalone Novels: https://www.jaycrownover.com/standalones