to sit in the chair opposite him, at the small round table, where he has just been giving notes to the others.
I sit down, smoothing my silky dress over my bare knees. Why I chose this dress to wear today, I’m not sure. It’s a summer dress, not a Fall dress, but the clear blue sky outside had me fooled this morning. The lyrics to the song, “Autumn in New York” skitter through my mind. There is no place like New York in autumn. There is no place like New York, anywhere. I love this city.
“You must be freezing in that skimpy outfit,” he scolds.
“Not really,” I lie.
“It’s showing through your bra, just how cold you are,” he says, his eyes roving to my pebbled nipples. “Sorry to sound personal, but you really should put on proper clothing. The last thing I need is you getting sick on us all.”
My face flushes red, and I realize that I chose this thin little dress to look attractive for Daniel. He has noticed me. But in the wrong way.
“Are you eating properly?”
“Excuse me?” I ask. Who is he? My father?
“You seem to look faint sometimes. You’re so slim, I wonder if you’re getting enough nutrition.”
“I had a yogurt for lunch and an apple and—”
“Thought so. Not eating enough. Actors need sleep, good food, and plenty of exercise. Stamina. Integral strength—it’s part of your job profile. We’re still only in rehearsals right now, Janie, but getting out on stage every night, plus matinees, is taxing on the body as well as the brain. You need to look after yourself. Your body is your tool, remember that.”
“I go for long walks in Central Park,” I venture.
“Not enough.” His eyes are looking me up and down, burning through my body, through my almost see-through dress. Can he see my panties? That they are damp? The way he looks at me has made a slick, moist pool gather between my legs. I’d fuck him on the table right here if he asked. But he doesn’t see me that way. He sees me as a child. I want to say, Spank me, then, for being naughty. I want to say, Take me across your knee and spank me for being late, for not eating properly, and for being lazy about exercise, but I answer, “I’ve joined that gym around the corner from the theater.”
“Joining a gym means nothing unless you actually use it. How long ago since you left Juilliard?”
“I graduated this summer.”
“That’s right, you were one of their little stars.” The way he says this doesn’t sound like a compliment but a reproach. He raises a cool eyebrow. “So you’re even younger than you should be.”
“For the role?” A freight train is now racing through my body. Jesus, he’s going to fire me! That’s why he wanted to talk. I feel my eyes well up.
“So how old are you? Twenty-one?”
My mouth is dry but I manage to croak out a “Yes.”
“So young, so vulnerable, so f—”
Daniel is biting his lower lip as his teeth are folded over in an F, but then he stops himself. Am I imagining things? Was he about to say, ‘so fuckable?’
“So fearful,” he says with a gentle smile. “I’m not going to eat you, Janie. You have tears in your eyes, what’s up?”
“Have you brought me here to fire me?”
He laughs. His wide smile lights up his handsome face, his teeth flash white, his eyes crease with mirth. “Is that what you thought?”
But I’m not smiling back. I’m still shivering with trepidation. I cross my legs. The dampness between them really might be showing through my dress. How embarrassing.
“No, Janie. Of course I’m not going to fire you. I’m extremely happy with your work, as it happens.”
I want to fling my arms around him. I want to straddle him, sit on his lap. I manage to curve up my lips a little.
“You’re making leaps and bounds in rehearsal. You have just the right balance of vulnerability and rawness; it’s working beautifully. No, I want to ask you to come with me to the theater tonight. I’ve been given comps to a play I’d like you to see.”
My stomach gives another lurch. Is Daniel Glass asking me on a date?
“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks.
My fantasies are coming true! He wants to date me! “No,” I reply, and I notice his eyes flick down to my breasts. I feel myself tingle between my legs again.
“Just asking, in case you wanted to