me see the wrongs
I've done, too. Made me purge my secrets, rethink my actions, feel the effects they had on others. I had to face my own shit for the pain to stop." She glanced down at Carlos and offered him her hand to help him stand. "I'm not perfect. None of us in this room are. We don't judge you, because you're right, we've never taken a walk in your shoes. But now that you know how we feel, that should temper your behavior from this point forward. This gift that was given to me, I pass it to you." She glanced at Shabazz. "I owe you a serious apology. But we'll talk about that later, privately."
Shabazz nodded and swallowed hard. "You got all that over in Nod?"
"Yeah," she whispered.
Carlos's gaze sought the window, hoping he'd see Damali down at the beach. "I just wish I could fix this, Marlene. I don't even know where to begin."
She came to him and gently cradled his face with both palms. For some unknown reason, every time that she touched him, new tears fell. It was as though her hands contained a siphon, finding deeply hidden reservoirs of unspent emotion tucked away in wells he was unaware of until now.
"First, let me tell you... I know my daughter. She loves you."
"After all I've done, she has a right not to, and I can't blame her."
"She has a right to, but her heart made a choice not to follow that advice." Marlene offered him a tender smile and kissed his third eye in the center of his forehead. "Open that up. She still loves you." Marlene pressed her forefinger where her lips had swept. "May I go in and tell you something?"
Carlos gave Marlene a half-smile. "Do I have a choice?"
She chuckled and shook her head no.
"I didn't think so," he said, yielding to her.
Marlene hugged him and rested her head on his shoulder. You are her king. There will never be another one that can ever take your throne. Another man might sit in it, but you own it. She stands behind you, before you, beside you... as a queen, she moves, her role shifts, depending on the circumstances to guard the kingdom--which is what you two build together. If she ever stands before you, it is not because she doesn't respect you, it's because duty calls.You must understand that. Wlien she stands by your side, it is because she is your equal partner. When she stands behind you, it is not because she's to be your submissive mate; she is choosing to stand aside because it is your time to reign.You must learn to be what you are, a king. Your queen has been waiting for you to accept the responsibility with dignity... because she'd tired and wants to stand down for a while... all you have to do is be ready to stand up--without taking her dignity in the process.
But, Marlene, there's no denying he's better--
Hush, boy, and listen to your mother, hear what this old woman's got to say. Carlos nodded and relaxed again.
You've been bitten by another, now she's been bitten by another. That was a breach of flesh. It is done. Inconsequential, given all you two have endured as one. But Cain never entered her royal chamber--not what's between her legs, I can't speak to that. That's simply her court. Yes, there were thieves in the castle. Regrettable, but not-- Marlene petted his back when he bristled. "Shush," she whispered. "Hear me out, baby, what I'ma tell you is profound."
She waited until Carlos settled against her again, even though his hug was tense. Her royal chamber where her deepest secrets are held, the blueprints to an empire, the keys to all that matters, is her heart. You are in there. He couldn't pry that open with a crowbar. She held her Isis high, stood before it, and fought him off valiantly. She didn't even allow him to nick her throat over the first bite you gave her... think, man, think.
Carlos pulled back and looked at Marlene, his hug slowly easing to a gentle embrace as he quieted his spirit and laid his cheek against the crown of her head. Oh, Mar . . .
Yeah, baby, now you listen to old Marlene. She reserved an ounce of hope that her king's cavalry would come. You're her kin. I keep trying to tell you. She's standing at the door, guarding her heart, exhausted, bone weary, nearly defeated, but would