making oblations at the shrine. of Isis. "You don't have to baby me," Marlene said weakly. "Yes, I do," Damali whispered, collecting warm bath water into a small porcelain cup and allowing it to chase away the suds. "How many times did you do this for me when I was all hurt up?" Marlene smiled. "That was what I was supposed to do." "Loving you back, ain't that what I'm supposed to do?" Damali said, fighting against the tears and then smiling. "Why are you always so stubborn?"
"Because my children make me that way," Marlene said, smiling through the tears.
"I know we do," Damali sighed, beginning to softly soap Marlene's locks. "So, close your eyes and let me be the mom this morning... even if I can never, ever fill your shoes."
"That's 'cause my feef are too big, chile. Not because you can't hold your own," Marlene murmured with a self-conscious chuckle, closing her eyes as tears fell. "That was some mighty powerful juju you did out there for this old broad. Couldn't have done it better myself."
"Who you think taught me?" Damali whispered, kissing the soapy crown of Marlene's head and then pouring cleansing rosemary water over it, careful to keep soap out of Marlene's eyes.
"Ah... well... but some of the new things you're learning, even I couldn't teach."
"You gave me the foundation. Without it, anything new wouldn't have a leg to stand on."
"You always answered me word for word, child. Umph."
They both chuckled softly as Damali finished rinsing Marlene's hair.
"So, what are you gonna do?" Marlene asked with a smile, keeping her eyes closed as Damali soaped her hair again.
"Marlene, the last thing I'm worried about is any of that. You are my primary focus, as is this family. From this point forward."
"You're a Neteru, not a nun. The family is a big burden, one you don't have to take on all by yourself. Me and Marj can hold up a couple of those sides of the pyramid. Chile, you've gotta distribute the weight or it'll crush you. The family's too big now for you to be trying to carry it all alone on your back."
"You've been holding up this pyramid all by yourself for years, Mar. It's time for you to rest, and let--"
Marlene opened her eyes and stared back at Damali with a gentle but firm gaze, stopping her words. "That would kill me, to see you retreat from life and happiness, if nothing else would."
When Damali sucked in a shuddering breath trying to be strong, Marlene's wet hand sought Damali's cheek and she cupped it. Damali immediately kissed the center of it.
"We're not supposed to leave all this on our children, honey. The generation that goes before is supposed to pave the way through the bushes so the ones following behind don't have such a tough road ahead of them. Why would I leave sticks and stones and boulders in your path to trip on, when I love you like I do, sweetie? I'ma help you and be your mother until the day I close my eyes, and move every stone I'm strong enough to lift out of your way, no matter what. You can't stop me. It's in my blood, my cells, my mother DNA." Marlene sighed as two new tears rolled down Damali's cheeks.
"That's right, child. You go on and cry. Let it out."
"I thought I'd lost you," Damali whispered, sniffing, unable to lift the sponge so much pain had suddenly wrapped around her chest. She squeezed the sponge, forcing white lather between her clenched fingers. "If... Lord, Marlene . . ."
"I know, baby. Hurts my soul how many times my suga-girl-child gotta go to Hell and back, even if it is her job. My heart leaps right the pit with you every time. Know that, darlin'. You ain't never alone. Mar and the angels are right there with you."
Marlene nodded and traced a tear on Damali's cheek until it plopped into the white bathtub water. 'Yeah, you're grown, but you still have a lotta life left to live. Advice is probably hitting you from all sides by now. I'm sure. Now, your heart is heavy, I'm still living, so state your bizness. This don't bother me--talking. Seeing my grown girl child all twisted up, that bothers me. So, whatchu gonna do about these crazy men?" Marlene smiled, which brought out a sad smile on Damali's face with it.
"I don't know," Damali whispered.
"You still love him?"
Damali stared into the suds. "Yeah."
"This new one.