standing up, shaking the straw from my skirts. ‘She fears the future. Do you think that is because she has seen it?’
I half expected Arthur to make the sign of the cross at my words, for he was a countryman at heart and as such was full of superstition. He did not smile but nor did he flinch from the question. ‘I think she has seen a semblance of the future,’ he said slowly. ‘We all have. We have all seen great men stumble and lose all they have worked to achieve. She does not want that for our father and least of all does she want it for you.’
‘I will do very well,’ I said. ‘I will be a great lady and live in a castle and have ten children. The Dudleys always have lots of children.’
I liked that vision of my future. It would give me a place, a purpose. It pleased me very much to know that, for I was outgrowing my life at Stansfield. What was I to do if I stayed here, year after year, a spinster losing my bloom? I needed an establishment of my own and a place in the world.
‘I do love Robert,’ I repeated, as though that was the charm that would ensure my future happiness. ‘We love each other.’
Arthur did not reply and for a moment I thought I saw shadows gathering in his eyes. I wondered if he was thinking about the other sharp words that Mother had uttered in an unguarded moment; that Robert was infatuated with my beauty and wanted my body but that lust would never sustain a happy marriage. I had not really understood what she had meant. Robert made me feel desired and that pleased me as surely it would please any woman. Besides, I knew that the advantages were not all on my side. Father possessed influence in the county, which Lord Warwick intended to use to his benefit. Already there was talk of Robert serving as a member of the parliament for Norfolk and I knew that Father could make that happen. This was not such an unequal alliance.
So I told myself, but despite that reassurance I felt somehow chilled. To comfort myself I reached up to kiss Arthur’s cheek, resting one hand on the warm, smooth flank of the horse. It was peaceful here with them both in the stables but I was done with the peaceful life of a country maid. I had been fashioned for finer things.
‘Thank you, Arthur,’ I said.
He gave me a hug, his arms strong and comforting about me. Even though I thought it would crease my gown, I returned the embrace. I would miss him when I went to London but I knew I would never tempt him to visit me in the city. He would have felt as out of place there as I now felt here in the country. Arthur belonged to the land. It would always call him home.
‘Why do you thank me?’ he said wryly. ‘All I have done is to tell you what you wanted to hear.’
‘I am thanking you for being the best of brothers,’ I said. ‘I know you will never fail me.’
‘That at least I can promise,’ Arthur said. He released me. He wasn’t smiling. His eyes were grave. ‘If you need me, Amy,’ he said, ‘I will always be there for you.’
‘Of course you will,’ I said. I spoke carelessly, for why would I ever need him? On the contrary, I had already started to think of the favours I might gain for my family when I was a courtier’s wife.
I went out into the stable yard. There had been a rain shower and the cobbles were glazed with water but the twilight sky had cleared to a pale blue. A sliver of moon climbed above the clouds. My natural good spirits had reasserted themselves and I felt excited and light of heart. I knew I would be able to persuade Mother to my point of view. She wanted to see me happy and Robert would make me happy. There would be no need for Father to overrule her. She would agree the match and Robert and I would be wed.
Mother thought that she could see the future, but the one I was intent upon was quite different from her vision. Robert and I would grow together. I would impress on him my worth as more than just a beautiful wife and, God willing, a mother.