locker room. A single light had illuminated the back of the room. Everything else had been silent. Cautiously I’d approached on the off chance Oliver had still been getting dressed.
What I saw though had made my stomach sink.
Ollie had been sitting on a bench between a set of lockers, his back to me and hunched over, looking completely defeated. With uniform pants still on his legs, his jersey had been discarded. Instantly, I noticed the way his muscles stretched and tensed beneath his skin. I’d wanted so badly to reach out and touch him but had refrained. Ollie had needed a friend right then, not some love-struck teenager ogling his toned, perfect body.
“Ollie?” My voice had come out a hair above a whisper, but in the silence, he’d heard. When he turned to see me, my throat had tightened, taking in the sight in front of me. The whites around his eyes were beat red, and a few tear streaks had stained his cheeks, while those full, beautiful lips had been pulled down into a permanent frown.
My arms had reached for him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh Dee, I’m so glad you’re here.”
He’d pulled me onto the bench, his arms wrapping tightly around me and held on for dear life. It wasn’t the first time we’d hugged over the years, but it was the first time he’d embraced me that way.
“What’s wrong, Ollie?”
He’d let out a deep, devastated sigh. “I didn’t get the full ride to USC—Trey did.” Trey had been the team’s hot shot, and the whole school had known he was going to be able to play anywhere his heart desired. “I’m sorry. That is terrible, but I’m sure someone else will want you.”
“But USC was my dream, Dee.” He didn’t have to tell me what it meant to him for me to understand his devastation.
“I know it was.”
“It gets worse.” The pain behind Ollie’s eyes was something I hadn’t normally witnessed. He was always carefree and happy, a smile always etched across his lips.
“Kylie broke up with me today.” A sob broke free. “Before the game.”
“Oh Ollie, I’m sorry.” My arms had flown around his neck and squeezed tightly, hoping more than anything to take his pain away.
I can’t remember how long we sat like that before Ollie had pulled away to ask me to go somewhere with him. There wasn’t a single thing that could’ve kept me from being with him, especially when he’d asked in that heartbreaking way.
The somewhere we went was Ollie’s grandparent’s house. Away for the weekend on some sort of Caribbean cruise, we’d had their house all to ourselves. We hadn’t turned on the TV or searched the kitchen for liquor. No— we’d gone up to the room reserved for Oliver when he stayed the night and lay together. We’d spent an hour not talking or moving. Instead, he’d held me into his chest and worked through the demons in his mind.
It came out of nowhere.
One minute we’d been lying together in silence, and the next Ollie’s lips pressed to mine. The soft kiss had quickly changed into the desire we both felt. For me, it was something I’d always wanted, while for him, it’d been what he needed. I hadn’t hesitated at giving Oliver my sacred V-card, because in that moment, it’d felt like magic.
Afterward though, Ollie had rolled over and immediately passed out. I hadn’t felt comfortable staying, and for some unknown reason had felt completely uncomfortable in my own skin. It’d been everything I ever wanted but nothing I’d expected. Leaving a note on Ollie’s bedside table, I’d gone home. My mom and me had lived only about five miles from his Grandparent’s house, so I hadn’t bothered to call anyone for a ride—not that my mother would’ve been able to come get me. Once the sun went down, there was basically no chance of reaching her. The walk had given me time to think, and I realized how much I hated what I’d done.
Ollie hadn’t been in love with me the way I was with him. He’d merely needed someone to dull the pain, and I’d been conveniently there. If any of those other girls had gone into that locker room, he would’ve gone home with them too. All I’d wanted was to be more to him. Unfortunately, my actions hadn’t proven I was worth more than a single night.
Once home—as expected—my mother had been gone, so I’d called Jayme and poured out my heart, draining my eyes of all the tears