away, becoming nothing more than a memory. That was the fate Corey and I were destined for… a beautiful moment in time, never meant to last.
On Wednesday I had to leave work early because of an email I received—from Karly.
-----------------------------------------------------
From: Karly Preston To: Danielle Hamilton
Hey Dani!
So Corey has been acting weird lately and I need to know if you’re still coming up north with us this weekend (Leaving early Fri-Sun). As you promised you would! : ) We miss you and I hope to see you both up there. Also, I attached some pictures from the night we went to the club! Hope you like them!
Love you!
-Karly.
-----------------------------------------------------
From: Danielle Hamilton To: Karly Preston
Karly—
I can’t make it this weekend. Corey and I broke up, but I hope you have fun! Say ‘hi’ to Abby and Lainey for me!
-Dani
P.S. Thank you for the pictures—they’re wonderful.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There were ten different pictures; some of me with each of the girls, a couple group shots and a few of just Corey and I. My favorite among them was the moment when Corey surprised me by pressing his lips to mine before the flash went off. Since I apparently enjoy torturing myself; I printed off each of the images. When I returned home, I curled onto my couch and proceeded to stare and cry over every one of them.
Man, I really was pathetic.
Gabby called in the middle of my sob fest but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. Besides, I knew crying to her over the phone wouldn’t compare to being there with her.
Soon enough—I would be.
Friday morning I drove to Corey’s place then parked in an adjacent lot—so I could watch for him but not be seen. I wasn’t sure what possessed me to do this but now that I was here—I couldn’t turn away. My fingers began to shake as the half hour mark of pathetically stalking Corey hit. The windows fogged up and my teeth were chattering; as much as I feared the sound of my engine would blow my cover, I had to turn my car on. Thankfully I managed to get it on and the heat blowing without being noticed. Lucky for more frozen body, I didn’t have to wait much longer for his appearance, but nothing prepared me for the sight I came across.
Corey emerged, dragging his feet and carrying a single duffel bag. Even from afar, I could see that he was scruffy and unkempt. The whites of his eyes were now completely bloodshot and I wondered if he was not sleeping and possibly drinking more than usual. This was certainly not the Corey I’ve known; proving to me (even more) just how much I hurt him. If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t look like the destroyed man he does now. More tears spilled from my eyes and froze to my cheeks, as I watched the sight until he pulled away. For a minute I let myself imagine what it would be like if I were there with him.
We surely would have had a sleepover the night before, and then I would have complained about him waking me up at such an un-godly hour. He would have teased me back, while both of us looked for excuses to brush against each other. When I couldn’t take the cold and memories anymore I put my car into gear and returned home.
That weekend I frequented different bars in the area (avoiding The Underground at all costs—even though I knew he wouldn’t be there). There was no prep into getting ready—no slinky tops or cute high heels. Instead I wore jeans, a sweatshirt and my furry boots with my hair usually pulled into a ponytail or messy bun. Beer wasn’t strong enough for what I was trying to cure, and my other favorite (tequila) brought back far too many painful moments. This time I did nothing but down shots of whiskey until my brain and heart were numbed from the inescapable agony.
Occasionally a random stranger would hit on me but eventually my lack of interest, mixed with bitchy comments were enough to send the idiots away. On the cab ride home, I would call either Gabby or Bailey and blubber away about the predicament I got myself into. The next morning I told myself I wasn’t going to be that girl anymore. I made my choice and now it was time to live with it. This of course, proceeded until Monday morning when I managed to get myself dressed and