me seriously, you don’t like me, you—”
“I never said I didn’t like you and I never said I didn’t care about you,” I interrupted.
But I’d said some pretty screwed-up things to her and she remembered. Of course she would, I’d behaved like an ass and hurt her feelings.
“You have a funny way of showing someone you like them.”
Goddammit!
“Did you ever think maybe I wasn’t avoiding you? I was avoiding PT.”
“You made it clear you didn’t think you needed to continue PT.”
“No, Adalynn, I made it clear I was a prick who had his head up his ass. I avoided PT because I didn’t want to work with you, not because I didn’t need it. And not because I didn’t want to see you.”
Her face fell, and to my absolute horror, tears pooled in her eyes.
“I see—”
“No, baby, you don’t, and I’m not explaining it right because I’m still being a prick.” After the afternoon she’d had, the shit that fuckwad had served her she hadn’t shed a tear, yet my stupid ass had made her cry.
With that in mind, I took a breath and gave her the truth. “I avoided PT with you because I didn’t want you to see how screwed-up I am. I wanted you to see me a different way—not as a patient, not my injury, not my scars.”
“I don’t understand.”
She wouldn’t because she didn’t go to bed thinking about me the way I did her. She had no clue I didn’t want to spend time with her in the gym on a mat. I wanted her in my room on my bed. I wanted her under me, not overseeing my recovery.
“I know you don’t, Addy. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. As you pointed out, I’m struggling with remembering what I have. I’ve been so caught up in what I lost I allowed it to shade the many things I have to be grateful for. It’s an uncomfortable realization when the light bulb clicks on and you see you’ve turned into a person you don’t like. I’m sorry I said that shit to you. It was uncool of me to take my frustration out on you. But I want you to know, I respect you, I respect the work you do, you’re good at it, and me ditching our sessions was about my ego, not your ability.”
“Have you found someone new?”
“No.”
“You need to,” she murmured. “You’ve worked hard. It would be a shame to waste your efforts.”
My hands shook with the desire to touch her. She was so close, it would be easy to reach across and unclasp her hands and take them in mine. It’d be just as easy to hook her around the neck and pull her closer and take her mouth. Either option would be good, but one would be phenomenal.
“Do you get what I’m saying to you?”
She nodded in the affirmative, but considering she hadn’t jumped out of my truck and run a mile, I doubted she truly understood what I was saying. If she knew how I felt and the filthy things I’d dreamt of doing to her, she’d flee.
“Then you get I care. What happened back there was whacked in a way that’s not just fucked because he said some seriously stupid shit, but in a way, that means he’s dangerous. Straight up, Addy, there’s something wrong with that guy and I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”
Her eyes drifted shut and she exhaled before she reopened them. Sadness shone.
“A long time ago, Jake broke up with me.”
That alone was proof positive this Jake guy was a complete moron. Adalynn Walker was not a woman you broke up with. She was the type of woman you tied yourself in knots to make happy.
“Why’d he break up with you?”
“He was leaving on deployment.” Addy stopped and lowered her eyes. I sensed she had more to say so I stayed quiet and waited her out. A few beats later she said, “At the time, I didn’t understand. I thought everything was good, so when he broke up with me, it hurt. I didn’t see what the big deal was about him going on deployment. I mean, I come from a military family. When Jake and I got together, I knew it was a possibility and I didn’t care. I was willing to wait for him. He was of a different mind so he made it clear we were over.”
I didn’t like the way that sounded and fought to