is silent for a while, and then says, “Yes, he did, and thank you for your kind words. I’m not well, no. I’m dying.”
More silence.
“Jesus, fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
She sighs. “I wouldn’t expect you to, Max. Now why are you here?”
“Is she still in town?”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat, and try to fight the tears.
“Yes, she is, but she doesn’t want to see you, and I think it’s best for everyone if it stays that way.”
“I just want to see that she’s okay. I’m not going to bother her. Tell me where she is . . . so I can just . . . see her.”
A tear bubbles forth and I swipe it away quickly.
“I can’t do that, Max. You know I can’t.”
He mutters a silent curse. “Is she okay? At least tell me she’s okay. It’s all I want to know.”
He just wants to see if I’m okay. He doesn’t want to see me, or talk to me, just check to make sure he didn’t break me for good. That hurts. It hurts more than I’d ever thought it would. Since he found out I was back, Max hasn’t come after me, so I don’t know what I truly thought would happen, but I guess I thought he’d want more than to just see if I’m surviving.
“She’s doing well, Max. She’s managed to pick herself up and move on.”
Oh God, she knows that’s not true, but I know why she’s saying it and I’m grateful for her lie.
Max is silent.
“I’m glad,” he says, his voice sounding raspier.
He sounds hurt. My heart burns.
“If she wants to see you, Max, she will but I ask you . . . please don’t push this.”
“I get it,” he mutters. “I won’t push, but . . . tell her I came by, will you? I’d like to talk to her, to finish this properly. The fact is we’re still married, and eventually we have to work out where to go from there.”
“I’m sure being married hasn’t stopped you from having relationships in the past five years, Maximus,” Mom says, her voice a little icy. “Therefore, a divorce can be given over the mail. She will see you if she wants to see you.”
“The relationships I’ve had since then are my business. As for the divorce over the mail, we both know it’s not that easy. I’m still living in a house with her fucking things in it,” he snaps.
I flinch.
He’s had relationships? The very idea of Max with another woman hurts so much a strangled gasp leaves my throat. Of course I expected he’d move on . . . but thinking of it hurts more than I ever could have imagined. Not to mention he still lives in our old home. I’ve wanted to drive past it so many times, but haven’t been able to bring myself to do it, scared of the painful memories. Knowing he’s still there makes it so much worse.
“I’ll let her know, but I won’t push my daughter, Max, and neither will you.”
He makes a frustrated, sighing sound. “I’m not here to argue. If you see her, tell her I want to talk to her, but I won’t pressure her to do that. I’ll leave you to it.”
My mom says nothing more; she just closes the door with a soft click. I look over to Immy, who is digging through the candy packet and lining them up on mom’s bed. She’s oblivious, thank God. I need her to be, because the tears running down my face can’t be controlled. Mom appears in the doorway a second later, takes one look at me, and wraps me in her arms.
“Hush, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.”
I make a strangled sound, because I don’t believe that.
Not even for a second.
CHAPTER THREE
THEN – COLLEGE – MAX
Sweat runs down my face as I jog towards the locker room to get changed before heading home. There’s a bonfire on tonight, and I’m supposed to be taking fucking Demi, even though she’s more than made it clear I’m a play-thing that she’ll use only when she needs a popularity boost. Our little break up lasted about four hours before she came crawling back, we got drunk and fucked.
I honestly don’t know why I put up with her. I guess for the same reasons she puts up with me. When you’re in the popularity chain, and you’re at the top, you do what you can to stay there. Not to mention when