stomach turn with a desperate need to do everything I can to prevent losing her. I can’t do anything, though. That’s just the cold hard truth of the matter. I can’t change the inevitable. We’ve exhausted all our options, and in the end, Mom has had enough.
“How’re you feeling today?” I ask her.
Her smile wobbles. “Not so great, but I’m managing.”
“The nurse still comes by on time weekly?”
She nods. “Yes, she’s wonderful.”
I give her a pained smile, sometimes I feel like I’m not here enough for her. Between working at night and looking after Imogen, I’m finding it hard to spend every second with her, like I wish I could be. “If you need anything, Mom, you know you can call me?”
She reaches over, grasping my hand. “I know sweetheart, but Immy has been sick.”
“I know, but I’ll always find the time to help.”
“You’re here every day, while trying to work and take care of her. You’re doing enough.”
I squeeze her hand. “How is work?” she questions.
“It’s fine, Mom. It’s easy enough.”
“Tina loves having Immy around.” She smiles.
Tina is my older sister and a lifesaver when it comes to working the few day shifts I occasionally get. She takes Immy and it saves me money trying to find a carer for her, or putting her in care. Besides, it makes me feel better knowing Immy is with family, and not in a new town, with new people she’s afraid of. Though I’m sure she’d do fine in care, I guess it’s more me that it upsets.
“I’m so glad they get to spend time together,” I finally say.
Mom nods. “Yes, it’s wonderful. We missed so much of her life.”
My smile wobbles, and Mom squeezes my hand again. “Have you seen Max?”
I shake my head. “No, and I really don’t want to right now.”
Her eyes grow sad. “You don’t think Immy deserves to know him?”
“I don’t know right now. He is a fighter, Mom. I’m not sure that he’s a good man and the last thing I want to do is introduce Immy to her dad, let her fall in love with him, and then have her heart broken if it goes wrong. I have to be very careful how I play this.”
Her eyes flash and she nods sadly. “You’re right about that, it’s best to take it slow because he has changed. A good deal.”
“You’ve seen him?”
“Once or twice around town. I haven’t spoken to him.”
My heart aches at the thought of seeing Max again. Seeing the face I loved so dearly. I still love him. I think I’ll always love him. He’s the kind of man you can’t just forget. He changed my life in so many ways—he gave me a daughter, and he was everything I could have ever wanted and more. Then he broke my heart.
“It’s probably for the best.”
Before she can answer, a knock sounds out at the door. She looks to me, narrows her eyes, and then stands and walks over, staring through the peephole. She makes a gasping sound, and then turns. “It’s as if he heard us speaking about him.”
My spine goes straight and I whisper, “He’s out there?”
She nods. I turn to Immy, who is still watching television. I can’t get her out without going through the front door, but I’m not ready to see Max. Not yet. I stand quickly, knocking over a chair. I rush over and grab Immy. She protests, but I quickly whisper, “Mommy has candy in the room! You want to share?”
“Oh yeah!” She smiles.
“Go into my room,” Mom whispers. “I’ll get rid of him.”
I rush Immy into Mom’s room, which isn’t far away. I grabbed my purse on the way and I’m digging out candy as I go. I shut the door quietly, and hand Immy a packet of candy. She starts busily opening it, and I walk over to the door, my heart is pounding so much I can feel it in my head. Boom. Boom. Boom.
“Max,” I hear mom say.
I really have to keep Immy quiet; the walls are like paper in this house.
“Heather,” he says, his voice low and thick.
My heart leaps into my throat and I fight the tears that burst into my eyes at the sound of his voice. It’s changed so much, yet it’s still the same. It seems thicker, gruffer, and deadlier.
“It’s been a long time.”
“You’re unwell,” he says. It’s not a question, but a fact. “I didn’t realize. I’m sorry about Jason; I heard he passed a while back.”
Mom