It totally sucked.”
“TMI…”
“Hey, you asked.”
I’d never known a guy with a dick piercing either. Was it uncomfortable for the girl?
“And I doubt my parents are going to ask you about it since they have no idea.”
“Why did you pierce it?”
“Girls like it.”
“They do?”
That arrogant smile came back. “You obviously haven’t tried it. I highly recommend it.”
“Doesn’t it tear through the condom?”
“Not if you know what you’re doing.”
Talking about him having sex with a dick piercing was giving me ideas I shouldn’t think about. “Anything else I should know about you?”
“You’re blushing.” He kept grinning and wouldn’t stop.
“I’m not blushing.” I lowered my face in the hope that would help.
“I’ll show you if you’re interested.”
“Let’s change the subject,” I said quickly.
“Whatever you want, Alessandra.” He said my name slowly and rolled the R.
I ignored him.
“I was in the army for four years. They’ll expect you to know that.”
“Really?” I blurted. I didn’t expect that from him.
“Don’t think I’m honorable,” he said quickly. “I enlisted to piss off my parents. I would have enjoyed it more if I could have actually seen them pissed off more often. I was overseas for fifteen months.”
“Why would that piss them off?”
“They kept telling me they wanted me to be a better person so I decided to pledge my life to keep my country safe. But I risked my life in the process so I made them eat their own words.”
“Wow…that’s a big deal.”
He shrugged. “I don’t regret it. It gave me a lot of perspective. Now my tolerance for bullshit is even lower. When my parents bitch about my immaturity and stupid life goals, I think about all the men in my tour that never came home. They spend so much time caring about something so stupid instead of just letting me be who I am. Maybe they should go over there so they can grow the fuck up.” He shook his head then looked out the window.
Ash was more complex than he seemed. He was an asshole sometimes, but there was a lot more to him than what he projected. “What did you do over there?”
“Grunt. When I took the exam, I had really high scores. They wanted to put me in other areas of the field that wouldn’t land me on the ground. But I told them I wanted to be a soldier.”
“You’re so brave.”
Instead of saying something cocky or arrogant, he didn’t say anything at all.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that.
“I’ve never been so scared in my life. I can sit here and pretend like there weren’t times when I thought I wouldn’t make it back home, but that would be a lie. I’m not ashamed to admit that.”
I held his gaze and felt my heart ache. “You wouldn’t be brave if you also weren’t scared. That’s the whole definition of it.”
“And the scariest part of all is something you’d least expect.”
I didn’t ask what it was.
“Coming home. After being over there for so long, I was constantly on my guard. Anytime I heard an unusual sound, I grabbed for my gun. I had nightmares for a long time about the things I’ve seen. I dreamt of the faces of my dead comrades. It took me a long time to finally integrate back into society. My parents never understood that. The second I was on American soil, they tried to get me to change my life and take a better path than I was on before.” He removed his gaze and looked out the window. “I’m sorry…I’m rambling.”
“I asked. And I’m very interested.”
He turned back to me. “I don’t want you to think I’m a broken soul or something. I hardly think about my time over there. I never let myself think about it.”
“Well, thank you for your sacrifice.” I meant what I said and wasn’t just giving him empty words. “I love having my freedom.”
He smiled slightly. “You’re very welcome.”
I stared down at my hands because I couldn’t hold his gaze any longer.
“Anyway…they’ll expect you to know that about me.”
“I’m surprised you can’t get a VA loan.”
“I destroyed my credit when I bought a bike.” He shook his head. “I bought it even though I couldn’t afford it and then I crashed it. It was right when I came back from the military and I was a little reckless.”
“Were you injured?”
“In the military?”
“I meant in the bike accident…” But I wouldn’t mind hearing the answer to that question too.
“Oh, no,” he said quickly. “Just a few bruises and no one else