till you meet her. And she looks like you and Mom. She moves like you, and has your eyes and hair.”
“Were they good to her?” Melissa wanted to know.
“Marla Moore doesn’t sound like the mother of the year, but Michaela said she had everything she could have wanted, and kind people around her. Marla was on location making movies a lot of the time. She was all in favor of Michaela finding you, if she wanted to, but the records being destroyed made it impossible. I hate to think how many people have tried and given up.” Melissa nodded, since she had too.
“When can I see her?”
“She said she’d come to New York to see you and bring the kids. You could invite them here if you want.”
“Does she hate me for leaving her?” Melissa’s eyes looked huge as she questioned her sister.
“Not at all. I told her you were sixteen. She’s not angry. She seems like a very well-adjusted woman. She works with inner-city kids in L.A. They have a good life, live in a beautiful home, and are responsible people. They’re a sweet couple. I think Marla took good care of her. She’s apparently not a very maternal person, but Michaela loves her, and seems very forgiving. She thought there was no hope that she’d ever find you.”
“I thought so too. I can’t believe what you did,” Melissa said to her, overwhelmed with gratitude. “You’ve been flying all over the world, looking for her.”
“You always did everything for me. It was my turn. I thought I might have the inside track because of the Church, but I got nowhere at Saint Blaise’s. Fiona gave me the only lead when she remembered the three movie stars who adopted in 1988. You were meant to find each other, Mel. You can call Michaela later if you want, or now. She knew I was coming here. She’s been calling me all week.”
“What if she hates me when she meets me?” Melissa said, suddenly seized by panic. “I’m not as glamorous as her movie star mother. I’m a farmer now, just as you said. I crawl around under the house and up on the roof, and drag tree trunks around with the tractor. I don’t even own high heels anymore. I threw them all away. Oh my God, Hattie, I’m a mess.” She was laughing and crying at the same time and couldn’t stop. And then, finally, she looked at her sister seriously, and her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m scared.”
“So is she. So was I when I went to meet her. She’s lovely. And trust me, she has no axe to grind about you.”
“Does she know about Robbie?”
Hattie nodded. “I told her. She felt terrible for you. Now you need to figure out when you want to see her. I think it might be better in New York. Coming here and staying with you might be a little intense for the first time. It’ll be easier to meet on neutral turf. Like New York.”
“New York isn’t neutral. I haven’t been there since the divorce, when I bought this house. I swore I’d never go back. I have too many memories there, of Carson and Robbie. It’s too hard for me.” She looked genuinely panicked.
“You’re going to meet your daughter, Mel. It’s a happy event, not a sad one. You’ve waited thirty-three years for this. You can do it.” Melissa was turning fifty soon, and the last time she’d seen her baby girl, she was sixteen. Hattie couldn’t imagine it, waiting that long for something that important that she’d been robbed of as a young girl.
“What’ll I wear? I need to buy clothes. All I have is the old stuff I wear up here.”
“You can come a day or two early and buy something nice. I don’t think she’ll care. She’s not that kind of person. She’s honest and real. She really loves her kids. They’re very sweet. They want to meet you too.”
“Oh Christ, I’m a grandmother and I’m not even a mother anymore.” Her eyes filled with tears again as she reached out to hug Hattie. She felt as though she’d been given an entire world.
“Yes, you are a mother. You have Michaela,” Hattie said softly.
“I gave her up.” Melissa sounded convulsed with guilt.
“You had no choice, Mel. You’re still her mother. She has two mothers now.”
“Will her adopted mother hate me? Does she know?”
“Not yet. Michaela wants to tell her after you’ve met.”
“To see if