of white bulbed lights above us.
Dozens of Christmas trees standing. A couple of small piles of trees on the ground.
“You really don’t have any desire for Christmas?” Lita asked.
I stopped walking between two prickly trees and looked at her. “Do you?”
“Sometimes. I told you… if it was real. Like snowy and cold. A cabin. A fire in a fireplace. Hot chocolate. Eggnog.”
“So you want to live in a movie,” I said.
“Hey. People go on vacations to islands and beaches, right? Why can’t people do that for Christmas?”
“So, what are we doing here, Lita?” I asked. “You want to pretend we’re together and we’re picking out a tree? Then what? Strap it to the roof of my car and take it where? My place? I have no lights. I’m not buying lights.”
“Shane,” she said. “Relax. You asked a question and I answered it. And, no, I’m not buying a Christmas tree. I don’t plan on it. You can.”
“I’m not buying anything from here,” I said. “I want nothing to do with being here.”
“Turn around, Shane,” Lita said.
I slowly turned.
Lita was at my side.
She hugged my arm.
It took me a second or two to figure out what I was looking for.
But then I saw… her…
Wearing a red apron and a Santa hat.
It was Stacy.
“I’ll blow you right now in front of her if you want,” Lita whispered. “We can make her cry. She’s out here selling stupid Christmas trees. And you’re a rock star. She ruined her life fucking you over, Shane.”
Seeing Stacy stole my breath.
I swallowed hard and nodded.
“Right.”
I watched as Stacy took money from some guy.
She had the same big smile.
She dealt out some change and turned her head to say something.
Another surprise waited for me.
The guy I caught her fucking… he was there.
Wearing flannel like some fake lumberjack, he patted the guy on the shoulder, then they walked away.
That meant she wasn’t just fucking some guy once or having a fling.
She liked that guy. Loved him. She wanted to be with him.
Instead of me.
Stacy looked around and stopped at me.
“She’s looking,” Lita said. “Want me to grab your cock?”
I found myself nudging Lita away from me. “I’m out of here.”
“Shane, wait a second,” Lita said. “You have to do this. See it. Face it.”
“Shane?” Stacy’s voice asked.
I gritted my teeth.
I looked at Stacy again and nodded.
That was good enough for me.
I moved down another row of trees to get the fuck out of there.
I appreciated what Lita wanted to do for me.
To have me see Stacy and realize that I was much better off without her.
There was one issue…
Nobody knew the actual truth about Stacy and I.
16
LITA
The car ride was silent.
And uncomfortable.
Shane smoked cigarettes and didn’t look at me once.
Okay, the idea was terrible.
I thought he would see Stacy selling Christmas trees and smile.
Or maybe fall in love with her again.
Shit.
Is that what he’s doing right now?
Falling for her again?
Would that be so bad though?
Maybe time and distance were a good thing.
Like, when I saw Blaze, I just hated the guy.
But for Shane…
I swallowed hard and frowned.
“Shane.”
“Not yet,” he said.
“Okay,” I said.
I looked out the window.
I was mad at myself for feeling anything that resembled jealousy.
Serves me right. I was drunk when I thought of the plan. And I somehow managed to get online and find her. And my mind told me…
“I’m sorry,” I called out. “That went so much better in my mind.”
“What exactly did your mind tell you, Lita?”
“That we were going to find Stacy selling Christmas trees,” I said. “That she was going to look tired and beat up by life. That you were going to see her and smile. Then look at me. And then we would start kissing. Knock some trees over. I’d dry hump you on a Douglas fir…”
“A Douglas fir?” Shane asked.
“It’s a type of Christmas tree,” I said.
“Fuck, Lita. You like Christmas. You just pretend you don’t.”
“You already knew that.”
“All because of snow?”
“Yeah. That’s right.”
“What did you think I was going to do?” Shane asked. “Let you dry hump me on a Douglas fir, then buy one and take it home, then set it up and fuck you in front of it?”
I looked at Shane and smiled. “Is that so much to ask?”
Shane cut the wheel to the right.
His car skidded off the road.
I put my hands up and screamed.
The car did a half spin before Shane corrected it and hit the gas pedal.
We moved up the road a little bit before he turned again.
We went down some random side street,