doing that?” I move to the other side and kiss his other cheek. Then I move my mouth closer to his but stop shy of pressing our lips together.
“I could get on my knees for you,” he rumbles.
“Definite possibility.”
“Or … I could do something else?” He pulls back the tiniest bit to look me in the eye. “Is there something you were thinking of?”
I shrug. “I don’t really care. I just want to be with you.”
“Want to watch a movie and cuddle on the couch?”
“Not really what I was thinking, but I’m good with that too.”
Denver throws himself on the couch but then opens his arms. “Cuddle first. Then embarrassing sex talk.”
“Embarrassing sex talk?” I lie down next to him, pressing our bodies together on our sides. Whatever he’s going to say next has my stomach fluttering in anticipation. Or is it dread?
Denver traces over the curve of my cheek with his finger, stroking my beard. My eyes flutter shut at the touch, and then he leans in and kisses the tip of my nose.
The soft humming sound of contentment that leaves his lips makes my heart feel full.
“Umm, the sex … stuff,” Denver says.
Oh, shit. He’s going to tell me I’m terrible at it. Or that he expects me to return the favor and get on my knees. Not that I’m opposed. Just nervous.
“Is that what we’re calling jizz these days? Sex stuff? Give me all your sex stuff.” I have to joke about this because I’m worried about saying the wrong thing. My mouth scrambles to explain. “I want … I want to make you feel good, but being with a guy is still weird for me. Even though it’s you, and I’m comfortable with you, but, uh, yeah. I don’t know what I’m saying. I want to do more stuff, and I want to explore, but also? I’m terrified I won’t like it. Or I’ll be bad at it. What if I bite your dick off while trying to suck it?”
“Okay, maybe we put that one on the list of things not to do for a while because I kind of like my dick attached to me.”
“But you go down on me, and—”
Denver cuts me off with a kiss. “You know why I do it? Because I like it. Because it makes me feel amazing, and I like seeing you come. I like being the one who does it. I don’t do it because I expect it in return, and I’m not expecting you to ever do something you don’t like or you don’t want to do. I wanted to talk to you because I think I’m ready for more. Like I want you to fuck me.”
I suck in a sharp breath because I want that. Fuck, I want that.
Denver continues. “But if we never try another thing, I’m happy with what we’re doing now. Because you turn me on like fucking crazy, and there’s nothing that has made me happier in the last few years than when your hand is on my dick and your tongue is in my mouth. And if that’s all you could ever give me physically, I’m okay with that. You being here for me is more than enough.”
“Damn it, Denny.” I move closer, resting my forehead against his.
“What?”
“Why did we waste so much time apart?”
Why did I spend so long hating him when I should’ve realized why I was so upset at him? I have feelings for him. Like, wake up and smell the bisexuality in the air kind of feelings.
“Neither of us were really ready to face this back then,” Denver says. “You were blindsided by my feelings for you, I was still trying to convince myself that I was forming an unhealthy psychological attachment to you and what I thought was attraction wasn’t real, and then we both had to focus on our solo careers. Maybe our time apart was longer than we needed, but it gave us both some perspective that I’m grateful for. I don’t want to have to live without you again.”
I swallow hard. “Me neither. Since being with you, I’ve realized those deeper feelings for you have been there a while—maybe for years—but I associated those emotions with you being my best friend. I didn’t analyze it too hard because until you kissed me, I didn’t know. Hell, I still didn’t know until you turned up on my doorstep wanting forgiveness. The kind of hurt I’ve been carrying around isn’t because I lost my career.