think about that kiss.
I’ve made excuses, dismissed it for an emotional weak moment on Denver’s part, but being in his house, being back here with him the way it used to be, my denial can’t be ignored any longer. I think I’ve had deeper feelings for him for a long time. I was just never in a position to acknowledge them until after he kissed me and fled my life like his ass was on fire.
“Mase, what do you think I meant when I said my feelings for you were confusing?”
“That you were attracted to me for a split second and it confused you for a while.” That’s what I’ve been telling myself for years.
Denver huffs and sits up, running a hand through his unstyled hair. Without the product in it, it’s longer than I thought. Still not the shaggy mop of hair he used to have, but I get a little glimpse of the old him sitting in front of me. “I told you that kiss didn’t come out of nowhere for me.”
“Come here.” I open my arms for him, and he only hesitates for a second or two before he comes willingly. I roll onto my side so we’re flush up against each other.
It’s not like we’ve never cuddled before, but this is definitely closer than it would’ve been back in the day. I have my right arm under his neck, while my left rests over him. My hands aren’t touching him even though I want them to. I want to run my hands over him like he did to me last night for the briefest of moments.
“Why didn’t you stay that night and talk to me about it?” I ask.
A frown line appears above Denver’s brow. “After you rejected me, you mean?”
“I didn’t mean to reject you. No, wait, I did, but I didn’t mean for you to feel rejected. I saw you like a brother, and it was weird that you were kissing me. But maybe …”
Maybe, what, Mason?
What would that night have looked like if Denver hadn’t run out of there?
“Maybe if you’d stayed and talked it out, I could’ve seen it from a different perspective.”
“What perspective?” Denver asks. “You’re straight. I’m … whatever. There’s not much more perspective than that.”
“What if it’s not that simple?”
“How is any of this simple?”
He’s right. It’s not. Not even a little bit. But the more I think about it, the more I realize we’ve always been in this limbo state between friends and more than friends. I thought it was a familial feeling. But maybe …
Am I sexually attracted to Denver? My cock says yes. My brain says I can’t be. Because he’s Denny.
Yet, my eyes keep glancing at his lips while my tongue feels the need to wet my own in anticipation of having Denver’s mouth on mine again. Only, this time I’m not going to push him away.
“I’m curious what would’ve happened if you hadn’t taken me off guard and gave me a chance to process—”
“What, you might have kissed me back? Doubt it.”
“I could see it happening.”
Denver falters. His face is so expressive. He still wants it. He’s hoping what I’m saying is real. “W-what?”
“Maybe you would’ve kissed me properly and gone ‘Oh, wow, I was so misguided in my confusion. Never mind. Seriously not in love with you. That was like kissing my brother.’”
“So you would’ve kissed me back in the hopes I wouldn’t like it?”
“No, I’m saying I think that night would’ve happened differently if you hadn’t run away. And now, with so much missed time between us, I want …” What do I want? “I want to set the record straight.”
Denver snorts. “Pun intended?”
“There’s this weird vibe between us. I don’t know if it’s because we hurt each other or if it’s new, but I don’t want us to run away from it like last time. I … I need to know.”
“Need to know what?”
I lean in closer, just a tiny bit, and lower my voice to a whisper. “If I should’ve kissed you back.”
Denver sucks in a sharp breath. “Are you hoping I’ll feel nothing? Because if we’re doing this honesty thing, I have to say, I’m ninety-nine percent sure that won’t happen.”
My lips twitch in anticipation as I move in even closer. “Did you lie to me? Do you still have a thing for your ex-best friend?” The teasing in my voice is supposed to be playful. I might not pull it off.
Denver’s eyes fill with anger. “You better not