Evie.
Finn and Evie only vaguely heard him as they both held their breath, straining to hear a little cry through the rush and hurry around them.
‘He’s not crying,’ Evie murmured.
Finn kissed her forehead as the suction was turned on. ‘Give it a sec.’
But there was still no gurgling first baby cry. No annoyed, indignant wail at having a plastic tube shoved up its nose. They could hear terms like bradycardic and low sats and starting compressions and get an IV and need to tube him and Evie turned her face into Finn’s shoulder and cried, quietly this time, as a scenario she’d been part of on many occasions played out.
Only this time it wasn’t some anonymous person off the street—it was happening to her.
‘He’s going to be fine,’ Finn said, his head close to hers. ‘He’s going to be fine.’
If he said it enough times, it might just be true.
Then he heard I’m in and he looked up as the tone of the sats monitor changed. Sats improving. Heart rate picking up.
He kissed Evie on the head. ‘They’ve tubed him,’ he whispered. ‘He’s improving.’
Evie looked up, the normal sound of the sats monitor like music to her ears. She turned her head towards the flurry of activity around the cot. ‘How’s he doing?’ he asked.
The neonatologist turned around. ‘He was a little flat. He needed some help with his breathing—not unusual at twenty-eight weeks. Hopefully we can get him straight on to CPAP. We’ll put in an umbi line and given him some steroids down the ETT. We’ll take him up to the unit now, it’s the best place for him.’
Evie nodded vigorously. ‘Of course, go, take him,’ she urged. She wanted him in the best place, with the best people looking after him, but she couldn’t deny how bereft she felt. She’d given birth to him but she hadn’t even touched her little boy yet or seen his face.
Her arms ached to hold him. To be near him right now.
She turned to Finn. ‘Go with them,’ she said.
Finn frowned. ‘What? No Evie, he’s in good hands, I’ll stay with you until you’re settled upstairs and then I’ll go and check on him.’
Evie, feeling strong now, dashed at the moisture clinging to her cheeks. ‘I don’t want him up there by himself, Finn.’
‘He’s going to be surrounded by people,’ Finn said gently.
‘No.’ She shook her head vehemently. ‘Not people who love him. That is our son up there and I want him to know that every second of every day we’re right beside him. Go, please, please go. If you don’t, Finn, I swear to God I will, placenta delivered or not.’
Finn caught the eye of Marco, who indicated with a quick flick of his head to hop to it. But he was torn. He wanted to be with his son, but he didn’t want to abandon Evie either.
Evie grabbed his sleeve. ‘I’m going to be fine,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry, I know I’ve been a mess tonight but I’m fine now. And I need you to do this. Promise me you’ll stay with him until I can get there.’
Finn blinked at the zealous glow in Evie’s eyes that turned them from soft hazel to a supernatural hue. He nodded, knowing it was another promise he could keep. ‘I promise,’ he murmured. ‘But don’t be long.’
Evie gave a half-laugh. ‘I’ll try. Now go!’ she urged as the cot and the team headed out of the cubicle.
Finn stopped by Marco, who was pulling gently on the umbilical cord to deliver the placenta. ‘I have my mobile. Call me as soon as you’re done here.’
Marco nodded. ‘Assolutamente.’
Five hours later Ava strode into the isolation room they’d put little baby Lockheart in because there were some perks to being on staff and because they were quiet enough at the moment to allow it. Not that it was exactly isolated—large windows on three sides kept it fully visible to the entire unit.
She smiled at the nurse making notes on a computer console before spying Finn sitting in a chair beside the open cot, valiantly trying to keep his eyes open, his head bobbing up and down as he intermittently lost the battle before regaining control.
‘Finn,’ she said bending down to push her face closer to him when he didn’t seem to register her presence.
He looked as if he’d been pulled through a hedge backwards. His jeans had a stain down the front and his shirt looked like it had been crumpled in a ball