fact that we didn’t leave her with all the baggage that our parents left us with. She is everything we succeeded at in life. Anna is our greatest hit, because she’s the one we affected the least.
I know, at this juncture, you’re thinking ‘but what about Ever?’. Well, she came to us amid a certain amount of turmoil. She brought with her, even though she didn’t know it or mean to, a whole lot of horrible memories. With Ever, we both had to learn to see past our own mistakes and failings. While you were doing that, you made some more. But I wouldn’t be with you today had you not fixed it, had you not learned and moved on. We aren’t perfect, never were, and no one out there is. Ever has forgiven you. In her heart of hearts, you were forgiven the moment she put that tattoo on you and explained its meaning. I forgave you. Our other children, I know they did too. Now, babe, it’s time to forgive yourself. It’s time to let go of all of those things that hold you back from enjoying the rest of your life.
I’m not always going to be around, and I know you think that you will leave this mortal world first, but just in case that’s not true, there are some things I need you to remember as you move on.
First, it’s okay to be happy again. I will be really disappointed if I think you pushed happiness out of your life just because I wasn’t around any longer.
Second, you can’t be happy and live your life without accepting everything about yourself, forgiving the wrongs, and making sure that you never repeat them. Love our children and grandchildren with all of you, not just the pieces you think are untainted, because there is nothing wrong with you. You aren’t dirty. Your soul isn’t broken. Your heart isn’t black. Live your life and love our family. Do it with everything you have inside of you, because you’ll be doing it for the both of us until we meet again.
Finally, you need to believe the words you kept repeating throughout all of your letters. Our story isn’t over. We are more than what we’ve been allotted on this Earth. We are eternal. Even if there’s another after me, we will still be together again in another place, where jealousy and heartache don’t exist. We’ll have our joy, love, and understanding on the other side for the rest of ever. So, live your life, be well, love until your heart hurts and then a little bit more. And when I see you again, I’ll be able to feel all that I missed through you.
Don’t ever doubt us, because you, my love, you are my forever. You are my soulmate, CJ, and not even death can break that bond.
With all my heart, Always and Forever,
Your Lucy
Chapter 17
The Nameless
Ever
The familiar rumble of a motorcycle caused me to look up from where my son was nursing at my breast. Tiger Lily had taken the girls on a shopping trip because they were a little jealous of the new baby and all the presents he received since we got home from the hospital. They understood up to a point, but they were still young too.
Thankfully, my boy was just about done with his meal so I wouldn’t have to worry about covering up. I almost felt like I was smothering my child every time I had to do it, but honestly, my breasts were large enough before they filled out with pregnancy and filled up with milk. There was no way I was going to plop one out in front of a bunch of bikers when they came around to see the newest member of the club. Those assholes, family or not, were a bunch of pervs with boob jokes for days.
I tucked my son up on my shoulder and started patting his back as I walked to the front door. I swung it open before my father could ring the bell or knock. It appeared he was going to knock since his hand was still raised with knuckles up and at the ready. “Hey, Dad,” I greeted as I slung the door open wide and stepped back out of the way so he could pass by.
“I was just about to knock because I didn’t want to ring the bell and possibly wake your boy up.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” I closed and locked the door