have seen it. I should have felt it.”
“He didn’t want you to.”
And that was Jason’s limit. The one step too far I’d been trying to avoid. He shoved me away and launched upright, tearing the covers off and whipping them aside. “Fuck that. It’s fucking bullshit. Whether he wanted me to or not isn’t the point. How could I be so fucking blind? How did I not see it? There were signs. Now I fucking see them. But did I question them? No. Why? Because I’m a fucking trusting idiot who believed in honesty and love and all that garbage.”
After his rampage, he sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, his back heaving and arms trembling.
I didn’t move.
Helpless, unsure what to say, I shimmied off the bed and collected my clothes. It was dark in the room, but I didn’t want to shine a harsh light on the tense moment any more than I already had. With my arms loaded, I aimed for the door.
“Skylar, wait.”
I paused but refused to face him.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. It just… It gets me worked up. I haven’t dealt with it. I know that.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. I shouldn’t have yelled.”
I turned then, studying Jason. He was nothing more than a dark shadow, backlit by the pale moonlight coming through the window. He was watching me, but I couldn’t see his eyes.
“I think you’re too hard on yourself. I haven’t walked in your shoes, so I don’t know what it’s like, but I don’t know, try cutting yourself some slack. I said it once, and I’ll say it again. Put the folder away. Burn it. Shred it. You’re only making it worse. You won’t move past this if you don’t forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself.”
When he didn’t respond, I shifted my weight and sighed. “Sorry. I know it’s not my business. I should go. I work tonight and all weekend, so…”
I wanted to say I couldn’t come over again, but I knew if he asked, if he wanted it, I’d be there in a heartbeat. There was an underlying pull between us. It felt like we shared something more than just sex, but I couldn’t quite describe what it was.
“I’m going out of town after classes today. I won’t be back until Sunday night.”
“Oh. Okay.”
There wasn’t anything more to say, so I turned to the door.
“What time do you have class?” he asked, halting me yet again.
“Eight.”
“Can I make you breakfast? Call it an apology.”
I chuckled and glanced over my shoulder. “You don’t have any food, Jason.”
“Oh. Can I buy you breakfast instead?”
“Look. Apology accepted. You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. Please. You’ve been good to me, and I just bit your head off.”
“I haven’t been that good to you. I keep trying to evict you from your own bed with my feet, remember?”
If it wasn’t so dark, I would have sworn Jason was smiling. There was humor in his voice when he said, “And your elbows and knees and that incredibly hard head of yours.” He paused. “What do you say?”
“We shouldn’t be seen in public like that. Word could get around. You could end up in trouble.”
“We’ll go somewhere farther away from campus. It’ll be fine. I’m not worried.”
“Okay. Sure. Can I use your shower?”
“Yeah.”
I met Jason in the kitchen fifteen minutes later. He was dressed in fitted jeans that hugged his perfect ass and a wine-colored dress shirt with the sleeves rolled, exposing the dark hair on his forearms. The scruff on his face was as thick as his frown. He was rummaging through his cupboards.
“They’re as bare as Old Mother Hubbard’s. You need to grocery shop, like, yesterday.”
He slammed the door on the one he had open. “Do you always sing in the shower?”
“Uh, hellz to the yeah. Best acoustics ever. You don’t like it?”
He snagged his keys and wallet off the kitchen table, eyeing me from under his dark brow. “I never said that.”
Again, something close to a smile made his eyes light up. I didn’t point it out, but I absorbed it for all it was worth.
“Should we drive separately?” I asked. “When do you have to teach?”
“Not until ten. We’re good on time. Let’s take mine.”
The sun was about ten minutes from peeking out over the horizon. In the east, a smear of pink, yellow, and orange washed away the night, offering promises of a beautiful day ahead. However, fall was notoriously deceiving. The minute we stepped