His nose is puffy and slightly crooked, and his usual cocky swagger has been replaced by a dark thundercloud of anger.
His one open eye narrows at the sight of me. Mine widen at the sight of him.
“Is it true, Rainbow?” Sophie squeals. “Are you really gonna have a baby?”
I hold Carter’s stare, feeling the same question hanging in the air between us. Then, I sigh and tell her the truth, “Yes, sweetie, I am.”
Carter’s gaze drops to his sister’s back as he takes in those four little words.
“Are we really gonna live here? With you? Forever?”
“Of course we are, shrimp,” Carter grumbles through his mangled mouth, cutting me a warning glance. “Look.” His eyes dart to something over my shoulder. “Rain’s already got your bed ready.”
Sophie and I both turn, and I’m shocked to discover that he’s right. The last time I saw it, my bed had a shotgun blast right through the middle, but now it’s covered in a pristine unicorn-mermaid-cat comforter. Wes must have gone next door and swapped out my mattress and bedding for Sophie’s. He mentioned that he was able to salvage some stuff from the front half of their house.
I didn’t realize he’d meant a whole bed.
With every step I take toward it, I feel closer to him. Closer and yet so much further away. I lift one knee and crawl onto the soft surface, my hand sliding across the place where a giant hole used to be. I lie with my back to my uninvited guests and pull the spare pillow to my chest. It doesn’t even smell like smoke.
It smells like fabric softener.
He even washed it.
Closing my eyes, I surrender to my tears. The first ones I’ve let fall since he was ripped from my arms.
Wes might be the one who was taken away in handcuffs, but I’m the one facing a life sentence. This house is my prison. This baby and that little girl behind me—they’re my wardens. As long as they’re alive, I’ll be here, suffering, because I can’t take the easy way out if it means causing them pain.
“Rainbow? Are you crying?”
“Nah, she’s just snorin’. Growing a baby makes you real tired. Why don’t you go tell Mama that your bed’s here? She’ll be so happy.”
“Okay!”
I hear Sophie stomp back down the stairs just before the door closes with a quiet snick.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up as the floorboards creak under Carter’s heavy feet. I expect to feel the bed sag under his weight, but when it doesn’t, I turn and find him pacing back and forth across my matted carpet.
His eyebrows are furrowed, his swollen lips move as if he’s mumbling to himself, and his long fingers are tugging on his overgrown black curls.
I’ve never seen him so distraught. It makes me nervous.
“How did you guys get here?” I ask, hoping to take his mind off of whatever has him acting this way.
“My mom went back to our house, got my dad’s truck out of the garage, and drove to the mall to pick us up.” He shrugs. “Told us she was takin’ us home.”
“How did your dad get to the truck with his broken leg?”
“I pushed him in that rolly chair you gave him.”
“And y’all didn’t see any Bonys?”
Carter turns and glares at me with his one good eye. “Can we not do this?”
“What?”
“Pretend like everything’s fucking fine.”
I sigh and roll onto my back, feeling my dad’s gun dig into my spine. “Fine with me.”
Carter doesn’t say anything. He just keeps pacing, and I just keep staring at his battered face.
“I’m sorry,” I finally mutter, not knowing where else to begin.
“It’s not your fault,” he replies without taking his eyes off the floor. “Birth control is only, like, ninety-nine percent effective.”
Wait. What?
“I just … I’m not ready to be a dad.”
Oh my God. That’s what he’s upset about? He thinks this baby is his?
The thought seems absurd, but when I think about it, it’s probably only been about two months since Carter and I were together. Two months that feel like two lifetimes. That was back before his family packed up and left me in Franklin Springs without a second glance. Back when my parents were still alive.
Back when my birth control shot was still effective.
“You’re not gonna be a dad.” I sigh, trying not to roll my eyes.
“I’m not?” Carter stops pacing and looks over at me again.
I shake my head, bracing for the brunt of his anger when he realizes that