lot, but she always made time for me. When the school would call her and tell her what a great job I did, she’d praise me, but anything less than an A, my father would cut me. The last time…” His jaw flexes, and a shiver runs through his body. He readjusts himself like something is bothering him. He won’t let his back touch the seat. “The last time was the worst. He kept cutting and cutting. It hurt so damn bad. He pulled down my pants and cut me on my ass. He accused me of being gay, swore he’d show me what being a “bottom bitch” would be like. My mom came home just in time. She knocked on the door, and Dad acted like he was asleep. He threatened me, telling me to stay quiet. Mom knew something was going on. She kicked the door in with a gun in her hand, and she shot him in the shoulders, the knees, and eventually killed him when she saw what he did to me. She felt so bad because she ignored her gut feeling for a long time, thinking it was all in her head. She called one of her previous clients, Demon’s Fury Philadelphia Chapter, and they came over and took care of the body, and their doc stitched me up.”
“That’s why you’re a doctor.”
“No. I’m a doctor because I wanted to be the one with the fucking scalpel. I wanted the control.” His forearm tightens as he holds onto the wheel, reminding me of a braided rope. “There’s something else too, something only my mom knows and Reaper, but that’s it. It’s one of my secrets. It’s one that I want to take to my grave because I don’t want to be associated with them, okay? This stays between us, please?” Eric’s breath is as strong as an earthquake, vibrating his chest as he shakes.
“Eric, of course. You can trust me. I’d never hurt you like that,” I admit, squeezing his hand in reassurance.
He remains silent, staring at the windshield.
“What is it?” I prod.
“Please, know that I’m not him, okay?”
“I know that, Eric. You are far from being the monster your father was.”
He side-eyes me and unclasps my hand to grip the wheel, then lean his left elbow against the driver’s side door. I miss the warmth of his palm against mine already. He feels like he needs space and I have to respect that until he tells me what is on his mind. “My dad was the doctor for the Ruthless Kings Atlantic City Chapter. I’m a legacy.”
For a moment, all I can hear is the hum of the tires and the hair on my arms prickling on my skin from the air conditioning blowing through the vents. My heart is a sledgehammer, pounding with violence against bone to try and break me all over again.
I stare at Eric’s profile and analyze him. This is a man who keeps saving me from myself. He is nothing like those men. I don’t fear him. My heart isn’t missing its beats because I’m afraid of Eric, but from hearing their name again.
“Can you forgive me?” he asks, unable to stand the quiet between us.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” I finally say. “You aren’t him. You aren’t them. You’re better. You’re…” I roll my lips together, searching for the right word. “You’re my guardian angel while they were my prison guards.”
It’s the only way I know how to explain it.
Eric is a healer for all people, but he is a savior for me.
I feel sick that someone would do that to their child. I could never do that to mine if I ever had a kid. My stomach flutters, and an overwhelming emotion takes over, threatening more tears. I’ve cried more in the last few days than I ever have, but right now, I realize if I had an abortion, I would be a harm to my child like Eric’s father was to him. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry he didn’t love you like you needed. God, I am devastated for you.” I bring his hand to my lips and kiss the knuckles. I can’t kiss him while he’s driving. “You deserve all the love, Eric. More than anyone can give.”
I’m not paying attention to the road, but the truck slows and stops moving. I glance up from our hands and see he’s pulled off to the side. He turns in his seat, cheeks red,