hooks her arms around my neck. Looks up at me with wonder in her eyes.
"I still can't believe you're naked." Her fingers brush my neck.
"We spent the last two days fucking."
"Still… it's different here." She stares into my eyes. "Like you really have your guard down."
"And this?" I brush her hair behind her ear. Run my thumb over her lower lip. No makeup. She's just as beautiful without it. Different. The Eve no one else sees.
She nods. "You don't like it?"
"It's the same for you, isn't it?"
Her eyelids flutter together as she leans into the gesture. "It is."
It took two days of fucking her senseless.
No, we've been here. Dancing around how much we want forever.
"I am."
She digs her fingers into my skin. Not the this is the only way I can take the intensity of earlier. A gentle gesture. Like she's trying to explore me.
Her chest heaves with her inhale. I can feel the rise and fall against my chest. Her skin against mine.
The water makes her slick. Cool. The contact is too brief.
I pull her closer.
She lets her head fall into the crook of my shoulder. "It scares me. Thinking about our expiration date."
I nod.
"And it scares me… thinking about going past that. I guess… I don't let people see weakness. I don't know what they'll do. If they'll run or stay. I don't know which is scarier."
I don't either.
"I haven't let anyone get close in a long time. Only Addie. And even then… there's so much she doesn't know."
"Like this?"
She nods. "She has some idea… but not the extent."
"Everyone tries to protect their family."
"Maybe." Under the water, she slides her arm around my waist. "But there's something else too. I want to protect myself. I don't want her to see me differently. Think I'm a whore. Or a sellout."
"Would she?"
"I don't know. I don't think so. But she… she wouldn't like how much I've kept things from her. How much I've tried to shield her. I don't like it either. I'm treating her like a child when she's four minutes younger. I'm not her mom. I don't want to be anyone's mom."
"Now or ever?"
"Ever." She laughs, but it's not easy. "Is that a deal breaker? For the next two weeks?"
"I won't say that you might change your mind—"
"But I might change my mind?"
"Maybe not that. I never did. Laura either." Her name makes my chest tense. "But I guess that changed."
Her eyes stay on me.
"That's part of what Ty had to tell me. She… she still owns part of one of our companies. Marital property. She wouldn't let me buy her out in the divorce. She's changed her mind."
"Because she's having a…"
"Yes."
"Oh." Sympathy fills her expression. "That's a lot. I'm sorry."
"I'm happy for her."
"Really?"
"No. But I want to be."
"I don't know… if someone cheated on me… I don't know if I'd ever want the best for them. That's very mature."
"I'm very old."
Her laugh is easy. "It's better for you. To forgive. That's what Addie always tells me about our father. But I can't. He's done so much to hurt us. To hurt her. It's not the same, but… I understand the hesitation."
She does. She's not just saying that. The way people do.
Not that I give anyone the chance.
I only talk to Ty.
She looks up at me, vulnerability in her eyes. She wants to offer her trust. To ask for mine. "How long was it going on?"
"A year and a half. Maybe two."
"Fuck." Her eyes soften. Not the pity that makes me sick. This need to know more. To understand. "How long were you married?"
"Almost nine years."
"Fuck. I just said that, didn't I?"
I nod. "It went fast."
"That's a really long time."
"It is."
"She must… no wonder you… your brother said something to me. About how I needed to give you a chance even though you'd ask for too much. Even though it wouldn't sound fair. I didn't really get what he meant. I'm not sure I do now. Maybe you understand it."
No, but I can guess. Either he's talking about Laura or Eve's site. Trying to explain why—"I don't trust easily."
"It's hard for me. And I…" Her fingers curl into my back. "That's a long time to love someone. To wake up next to them. To lose that… not the betrayal or the rejection. Just that… it would kill me if I couldn't wake up in the same apartment as Addie anymore."
"You won't always."
"I know. I hate it. I hate that she'll eventually move in with her girlfriend. Or go