don’t even know how long she plans on staying.
At any rate, she can live with me for as long as she wants to. It won’t be easy, but I’ll convince her to stay with us for at least a month. The house is big enough for a family of six. We can share and not even worry about cramping each other while working. I can take care of her while she’s pregnant.
Wait a second, is this some kind of savior complex?
Shaking my head, I answer automatically, no, she doesn’t need rescuing.
Nyx already has a plan, and it’s a lot better than sticking the baby to her rich boyfriend and hoping she never gets caught. Fucking Bronwyn. I think she left me bitter.
On second thought, my reaction to Nyx’s pregnancy was a lot better than my reaction to my ex. I run a hand through my hair and let out a harsh breath. It feels like it was just yesterday when I arrived from a trip, I drove to Bronwyn’s house and as she opened the door she said, “We’re expecting a baby.”
It felt surreal, and I was quiet for several minutes while I digested the news. Of course, my timing was terrible because after a long silence tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I knew it. You don’t want us,” she declared between sobs.
My immediate reaction was to hug her and tell her we’d get married and be a happy family. In retrospect, I think she said it to make sure I didn’t ask questions. Not that I’d doubted her. After all, according to what we had established from the beginning, we were in a committed, monogamous relationship.
She was my world and having Wyatt became our dream. A dream she pushed so hard I couldn't imagine my life without him. The same dream she snatched abruptly away after tangling me in her web of deceit.
I should let him go. Stop holding onto a kid that’ll never be mine, harboring the same amount of hate and love for a woman that might not have loved me at all, and wondering why I wasn’t enough for my mother to at least call me on my birthday. It’s starting to affect me more than I ever imagined.
I should be a lot more like Nyx and analyze everything that happens in my life before I take a step. Keep my heart and my life out of reach of everyone. Then, I’d be fucking Ford.
Is this why I’m trying to be a part of the Brassards? Because I’m afraid that Ford, the only person who I can trust, might be leaving me behind, just like everyone else?
Or I understand Nyx really well because she’s a lot like my brother?
Turning to look at Nyx who is sleeping, I wonder if bringing her to my sanctuary is a lack of judgement or a way to hold onto a sliver of hope.
What is it that I’m hoping for?
Twenty-One
Nyx
“Nyx, we’re about to land,” I hear Nate’s voice. When I open my eyes, his blue piercing gaze stares at me fondly. “Come on, we need to make sure your seatbelt is secured, and your seat is in the right position.”
I stretch and swing my legs down to the plane’s floor, readjusting my seat belt. I never take it off, not after that one flight when I was eight and there was a lot of turbulence. I disobeyed my parents when they said, “Nyx, sit down and adjust that belt.” Needless to say, I almost hit my head when the plane jolted.
Once I’m ready for landing, I realize that Brock is back inside his kennel, which is secured to the floor of the plane. According to Nate, traveling is his second nature. I wouldn’t know, since I fell asleep as soon as we took off from Colorado. I should follow Mom’s advice about taking prenatal vitamins. Well, I find yet another reason why I should’ve stayed at home.
I’d be lying to myself if I said I came against my will. Nate voiced what I was feeling. Overwhelmed by all the changes that are yet to come. Upset by everything that I lost. Dazed by my parents’ advice, which I know they are well intentioned, but I don’t have the mind space to think about names, food, or anything else that affects my kid. I need a small break. A few days without having to think about my future should be enough to energize me.
Still, I’ll take this down time to research doctors, prenatal