their mothers will never meet.
CHAPTER 180
A few days after Sara Fredrika had given birth, Tobiasson-Svartman found something extraordinary next to the rocks on a headland at the extreme eastern edge of Halsskär.
He could see something bobbing up and down close to the edge of the rocks. When he clambered down to the water he saw that it was a collection of military-issue boots, tied together to form a chain. He tried to find some marking or other that would reveal if they were German or Russian boots, but there was nothing.
There were nine boots in all, four left ones and five right. They had been in the water for a long time. Somebody had tied them together and sent them drifting over the sea.
He threw them up on to the rocks.
He had the feeling that once again he had been surprised and challenged by the dead.
CHAPTER 181
Their daughter cried a lot and kept them awake at night.
For Tobiasson-Svartman it was like being exposed to an agonising pain. He cut pieces of cork and stuck them in his ears when Laura was crying at her loudest, but nothing seemed to help. Sara Fredrika was immune to all noise, and he observed her love with envy. As for him, he had difficulty in feeling any connection with the child.
But with Sara Fredrika, it was as if he had finally understood what love was. For the first time in his life he felt terrified of being abandoned. He was scared by the thought of what would happen if one of these days it dawned on Sara Fredrika that there was no plan to leave the skerry. That the only things in existence were the barren island and all the new reports that had to be written for a secret committee.
CHAPTER 182
Sara Fredrika took every opportunity to talk about leaving.
Her questions now made him feel profoundly desperate. He wanted to be left in peace, he did not want to talk about the future.
'I'm scared,' she said. 'I dream about water, about the depths that you measure. But I don't want to see that. I want to see Laura growing up, I want to get away from this hellish skerry.'
"We shall. Soon. Not just yet.'
It was early one morning. Their daughter was asleep. It was raining. She looked long and hard at him.
'I never see you touching your child,' she said. 'Not even with your fingertips.'
'I daren't,' he said simply. 'I'm afraid that my fingers will leave a mark.'
She said no more. He continued to balance on the invisible borderline between her worry and her trust.
CHAPTER 183
At the beginning of October Tobiasson-Svartman could see that Sara Fredrika's patience was close to breaking point. She did not believe him when he said that soon, not just yet, but soon he would have finished writing his reports.
One night she started hitting him while he was asleep. He defended himself, but she kept on hitting.
'Why can't we go away? Why do you never finish?'
'I'm nearly finished. There's not much left. Then we can go.'
He got out of bed and went outside.
CHAPTER 184
A few days later. Drizzle, no wind.
He walked round the skerry. He suddenly had a flash of insight. All these rocks formed a sort of archive. Like books in a library with infinite holdings. Or faces that will eventually be picked out and examined by future generations.
An archive or a museum, he could not be quite specific about his insight. But autumn was creeping in. Soon this archive or museum would close down for the winter.
CHAPTER 185
Nights now brought frost with them. As day broke on 9 October, the baby started to cry.
That same day Angel Wester sailed out to the skerry to check up on Sara Fredrika and the baby. She was satisfied, the baby was growing and developing as it should.
He accompanied her down to the inlet when her visit was over.
'Sara Fredrika is a good mother,' she said. 'She is strong, and she has plenty of milk. And she seems to be happy as well. I can see that you are looking after her properly. I think she has forgotten her husband, the one that drowned.'
'She will never forget him.'
'There comes a day when the dead turn their backs on us,' she said. 'It happens when a new being enters our lives. Make the most of the opportunity. Don't let there be a distance between you and the baby.'
He pushed the boat out as she raised the sail.
'Will you be staying here over the