there was still a hint of a connection, especially with Jenny. But the name on the screen is none of those, it’s my mother’s.
I’ve tried not to think about her because I knew the moment I did, the attraction I have to Damien would make me feel guilty, or worse than I already seem to have it.
I open the message and scan it while my heart sinks to my stomach.
I hope you’re behaving. God knows we don’t need to return to any of your antics again. Choose a college and make sure you’ve got your major sorted out. Mom.
She doesn’t ask me how I am. She doesn’t even show that she cares from the way she’s worded her message. Perhaps I’m reading into it, but I know Marcia Ellington, now Thorne, and affection is certainly not her strong suit.
I don’t know how to respond to her. How to tell her that I haven’t given college a second thought. I’m not even sure what it is I want to study. Perhaps I can take a gap year, travel, and then decide.
Sighing, I push the blankets from my body and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. I sit there for a long while, trying to decide what I’m meant to tell my mother.
The phone buzzes again. This time, it’s a call. I knew she’d do this if I didn’t respond in time. She’s always been manic about shit like that, whereas I need time to think.
I watch the call flashing, but I don’t make a move to pick it up. Once it goes to the messaging service, I sigh, breathing deeply, as I think about my future.
I can’t say that Damien will be a part of it; I don’t even know what all this means. Everything he’s done for me can’t continue when our folks get back. Our folks. We’re meant to be a family, and all I can think about is his kiss, his touch, and seeing him in those tight black boxer briefs again.
I should stop it before I find myself falling, but if I’m honest, he’s the first boy, man, who’s ever shown me who I really am. He understands what bothers me inside, and he’s given me an out. He’s shown me there’s more to life than the blades that I found solace in for seven long years.
But the moment he’s gone, because he will leave, I don’t know if I’m going to be strong enough to survive without him. The thought scares me, and I push off the bed and head into the bathroom.
Once I’m freshened up, I grab my phone and make my way down to the kitchen, where I find Joy making pancakes. She glances up, her smile brightening when she sees me.
“Good morning, Darling,” she greets, before handing me an empty mug, which I gratefully accept.
“How are you?” I ask her while I pour some java. I feel tired, exhausted, actually.
“I’m doing really well,” Joy says. She turns, holding a plate with a stack of fluffy goodness, which makes my stomach growl. “I think someone needs her breakfast,” she muses, with a grin.
I follow her out to the dining room to find Finn already seated at the table. It’s strange how they are always here for meals. Back home, I would eat alone, while my mother would be out with friends. We never had family time, even when Dad was around.
“Hey, little sis,” Finn says, with a wave. “I didn’t think you’d be up early today,” he observes, his gaze taking in every inch of me. His dark hair is pointing in all directions, as those eyes lock on mine.
“I didn’t think I would either, but I’m starving,” I respond, settling in beside him at the large table. It makes no sense for them to have a table, which seats sixteen when there are only four of them in the house on a normal day.
“My kinda girl.” Finn winks. We load our plates, but before I can tuck into my food, I feel his stare on me. When I look up, I find cocoa eyes on me. “You have your eye on my bro. Don’t you?” Finn asks suddenly, sending heat to my cheeks.
My mouth falls open when I gasp. “What?”
“You have a crush on Damien,” Finn tells me. It’s definitely not posed as a question, so I don’t respond. “You’re both so easy to read.”
“I’m not easy to read at all,” I tell him, feeling the tension in my muscles