I really have to watch my weight. And my trainer would kill me if I ate a greasy burger and fries… he’d have my ass. But the scent swirls around me, I wonder if just one would hurt?
Channing lifts her chin toward the dining room and I bite the corner of my lip as I climb down from the kitchen counter. Walking over to them, sitting down in one of the chairs as they do the same.
This doesn’t feel like a friendly neighborhood visit, it feels like so much more, kind of like the way their husbands walked in on me here and basically said I was a bitch for not giving Ford a chance. They weren’t wrong and I know whatever these women say, they won’t be wrong either.
“Why are you really here?” I ask.
Channing places the Styrofoam container in front of me, then takes one out for Exeter before another for herself. She does this all silently and I hold my breath as I wait for what she’s going to say to me.
“We like you,” Exeter starts out.
Shifting my gaze from Channing, I look at Exeter. She shifts from side to side in her seat and I can tell that she’s nervous.
“A lot,” she continues. “But we love Ford.”
“Okay…”
Channing inhales a deep breath then releases it on a sigh. “We’re not bitches, swear. We just… Ford’s never been happy since we’ve known him, and after his initial shock at seeing you, we think that you guys could find your happiness with one another. We don’t want you to run away from that.”
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I pick at the little closure of the container, not opening it. My gaze flicks back and forth between the women as I try to think of something to say that doesn’t make me sound like the biggest bitch on earth.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with him. It’s me,” I whisper.
Channing reaches out, her hand wrapping around mine, squeezing it tightly. “If you want him, you can have him.”
“I know,” I whisper. “It doesn’t have anything to do with wanting. We um… we reconnected yesterday,” I blurt out.
Exeter laughs softly at the same time Channing lets out a giggle. Shaking my head, I close my eyes tightly before I reopen them to look at the women in front of me. Happy women. Women that I could see being friends with, in a different life.
“Just once?” Channing asks. My eyes widen, flicking between them, and I press my lips together. Channing’s eyes widen as well and she shakes her head. “That’s not what I meant. I just meant, is it over?”
A laugh bubbles out of me, and I nod my head as I catch my breath. “I’m leaving tomorrow,” I admit.
“No,” Channing shouts.
“I am. I’m not like Beaumont and Louis, I need to be back in California. I have interviews and responsibilities.”
Exeter shakes her head. “Beaumont has them too, so does Louis. They had them when shit hit the fan and their relationships with Hutton and Tulip were new.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Is it not the same because deep down you don’t want Ford?” Exeter asks.
Pressing my lips together, I roll them a few times as I look down at my lap. Slowly, I lift my gaze to meet theirs. “I never stopped loving Ford Matthews. Last night was the best night of my life. I don’t think I could have dreamed of a better night,” I whisper. “We don’t fit though. He’s here with his cattle and I need to be back there.”
Channing stands, leaving her food where it is. “I’m disappointed,” she whispers. “I thought that you were made of sterner stuff, Stephanie. I thought that you were driven.”
“Driven for dick?” I ask with a snort, sounding snotty as hell.
Exeter clears her throat. “These men, they’re not easy. But when they love, they love hard and when you’ve been on the receiving end of that, it’s easy to feel as though it could disappear as quickly as it happened. I know you had Ford when he was young, but he’s not the eighteen-year-old you remember, just like you’re not the eighteen-year-old he remembers.”
“When he finds out who I really am, he won’t want anything to do with me.”
“He already knows about the pictures, what else could there be?” Channing asks.
Shrugging a shoulder, I refuse to tell them. They wouldn’t understand. They have all the happiness in the world, they have everything they could ever want.
Meanwhile, I’m here being blackmailed