lonely. I’m unhappy in my personal life, but I have everything I ever wanted.”
Inhaling deeply, I let her words wash over me. I feel the same fucking way—exactly. If I tell her that, then that’ll release some of her burden and I’m not sure I want that, yet. Sure, that makes me a big fucking jackass, but I’m not sure I care that much. I’ve had seventeen years of hurt building up inside of me and I can’t let her off that easy, I just can’t.
“Guess all that glitters isn’t always gold.”
I watch as she takes a hesitant step toward me, but only one before she stops. “I know there’s nothing that I can do to make up for the past, but do you think that you could ever forgive me?”
Shaking my head once, I want to tell her no, but even as angry and hurt as I am, not even I could make her feel that shitty. Clearing my throat, I take a step back and let out a sigh.
“We were young, Stevie. It hurt like hell, I can’t lie about that. I was angry for a long time, still am sometimes, but it’s the past. I can’t sit here and dwell on it the rest of my life. You did what you did, and that’s that. You wanted something different than me, and I can’t blame you for wanting out of Gallup. You always were the biggest, brightest star in this place.”
“Ford,” she hiccups.
“I understand why you did it. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive it and I know I’ll never forget it, but I can understand it.”
“If I could go back…” Her words trail off, and I shake my head.
“Don’t,” I grunt. “Just don’t. I think about the past enough as it is, I can’t think about if we could go back. Because I would do about a million things differently and I can’t think about it.”
“Why?”
I hold my breath as she makes her way toward me. She fucking glides on those high-as-fuck heels, stopping right in front of me. My entire body freezes, every muscle tenses when her palm touches my chest.
Flicking my gaze down to her hand, I lift it back to meet hers as I lick my lips. I can taste the salt from my sweat on my lips and I’m sure I stink to high heaven, but I can’t push her away, not when she’s this goddamn close.
“Why?” I rasp.
“Why would you go back, what would you change?”
Dipping my chin, my face is so close to hers, but thank fuck the bill of my hat keeps me from touching my mouth to hers.
“I would keep you, Stephanie. I would chase your sweet ass down. I would keep you for myself, however that looked, I would figure it out, and I would keep you,” I shamelessly admit.
“Cowboy,” she breathes.
I close my eyes. Pain radiates throughout my entire body at her one simple word. Cowboy. I was that too, her cowboy. It was what she called me, her sweet name for me, and I loved every single time she said it.
“It doesn’t matter now. It’s been too long,” I say quietly.
She hums, her hand slowly sliding up the center of my chest until her fingers wrap around the side of my neck. Tilting my head to the side, I brush my lips across hers. Fuck, does she taste sweet, like fucking sugar.
“Has it?” she whispers.
I grunt, dropping the shovel as I wrap one arm around her waist and haul her small body against my chest, at the same time, I slam my mouth against hers. Sliding my tongue between her lips, I taste all of her in one languid stroke.
She whimpers, I swallow the sound at the same time her entire body trembles in my arm. Lifting my other hand, I wrap my fist around her ponytail, twice, tilting her head to the side, positioning her exactly the way that I want her.
My lips travel down her neck, sucking on her soft skin until I reach the collar of her top. “Ford,” she moans softly when I tug her head back a little farther.
Lifting my head, I grin up at her as she watches me through lowered lids. “Been dreamin’ of this for seventeen years, honey,” I rasp.
“Please,” she softly begs.
Fuck. I want this. Want her so bad I can almost taste her. Something ugly slides through me at the thought of taking her right here in the horse barn. Releasing her, I take