I should go to the police and tell them everything I know. But Kenny wouldn’t have wanted that. Despite what you did to him, he still loved you and didn’t want to see you face any consequences. I guess that’s the difference between me and him. He had a loving heart, but mine is full of wrath and vengeance.”
The woman standing before me was no longer mother. Instead she looked like the very monster on the outside that she was on the inside. Her face had twisted into something that looked like a snarl and a mask of rage. “It’s that woman, isn’t it? She put these foolish ideas in your head. I knew she was trouble when I first saw her. That woman is trouble, a disgusting whore who bounced from one brother to another.”
I banged my first on the table, uncaring that the people at the surrounding tables were now focused on our table. “Don’t you say one more thing about her. Frankie didn’t deserve the way you treated her. Or what I’d done to her. Hell, she’s probably one of the kindest, most caring individuals I’ve met. I don’t know many people who would have done what she did to the detriment of herself. Frankie is the embodiment of the very selflessness you claim to be. And the fact that she waited so long to give you that much deserved punch, is a miracle. When I leave this building, I’m going to do two things: I’m going to track down my sister and hope that I can re-establish some kind of relationship with her. But first, I’m going to Frankie and throw myself at her mercy. She was the best thing that happened to me and I treated her like shit.”
My mother shook her head with a vehemence that made a few strands of her perfectly coiffed hair come loose. “I don’t know where any of this is coming from. I could never hurt you or Kenny or your sister. You know how much it pained me when she went away.”
“So much that you can’t even bring yourself to say her name. You just shrugged your shoulders and called her an ingrate. You don’t miss her or Kenny. You miss the control. And that’s why you always held so much contempt for me because you couldn’t hurt me as much as I got older. That’s the reason you hated Frankie too wasn’t it? She wasn’t someone you could control or manipulate. And I believed all those foul things you said about her because I was jealous and didn’t understand what was really happening between her and Kenny. But now I see through you.”
She flopped down in her chair like a deflated balloon. All color drained from her face. “All I ever tried to do was take care of my children and do the best that I could do after your father left us without a word.”
“A father’s whose funeral you wouldn’t let us attend. I understand that he left you, and you claimed he wanted nothing to do with us, but knowing what I know about you now, I bet he did want to see us. You kept him away from us, and then he died. You just loved playing the role of the poor discarded ex with three sickly children to raise.”
“He left all of us. He lost his choice to see any of you after he left. The very fact that you’re taking his side shows me just how much like him you are.”
“You know, when I was younger, something like that might have hurt me, but now I’m glad I’m like him because he had the courage to walk away from your bullshit. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.”
I pushed away from the table and stood up. As I turned to walk away, she rushed to my side and grabbed by hand. “Wait, you can’t just walk away from me like this. What will I do? What will happen to me? Are you really going to do this to your own mother?”
I gave her one last long look because I swore to myself that I would never voluntarily do it again after today. Then, I ripped my arm out of grip. “I don’t have a mother.”
I left her where she stood not looking back. When I got into my car, I took several deep calming breaths. I’d had a long speech planned out for my mother detailing all of her misdeeds and