last thing I expected her to say. “Mom, that’s a time-consuming endeavor. Besides, you should be enjoying your golden years. Maybe take a cruise and see the world. Enjoy yourself. Taking on another child especially one that had medical issues can take its toll. You remember how things were with Kenny. He was mostly independent, but with all his health problems, you had no time to yourself.”
My mother was silent for a moment seeming to take in my words. She tilted her head to the side. “Are you suggesting I’m too old to do something like this?”
“Mom don’t twist my words. I’m simply suggesting that there are other ways to occupy your time. Besides, you may need help like a nurse depending on the severity of the child’s issues.”
“You clearly don’t think I’ve thought this through. If I need to get a private nurse, then I’ll get one. I wasn’t telling you this to be judged but as a courtesy. I’ve already started the paperwork.”
My brother hadn’t been dead that long, and she was already looking for a replacement. Was this her way of filling the hole any parent would have in their heart after such a loss. “I just don’t think this is a good idea. Besides, there are programs out there where you can mentor a child if that’s what you want to do.”
“Apparently you think I’m not capable of running my own life.”
“I think you’re quite capable, but with Kenny not being gone for that long, you might want to consider holding off, and when you’re in a better frame of mind, you can revisit it.”
“If I had known I wouldn’t have your support, I wouldn’t have brought the subject up.” She picked up her napkin and dabbed the side of her eyes even though no tears seemed to come out. All I’ve ever done was love, support and take care of my children, and you all just hurt me in some way. Even my sweet Kenny who took off with that bitch. But I blame her mostly. And then your sister. Well, she was always a headstrong one.” My mother shrugged on that last part.
I frowned. She didn’t often talk about Robin, but when she did, it was usually to be dismissive as if it didn’t matter.
Robin, my younger sister, who was a couple years older than Kenny, had always been a bit headstrong, and she and my mother would often bump heads. I tried my best to be the intermediary between the two of them but there always seemed to be tension between the two of them. It never felt like the regular mother and teenage girl dynamic. As my sister got older, she was often rude and disrespectful to my mother. Until one day, I had to intervene. It was shortly after graduation Robin had learned she was accepted to school overseas in the UK. She packed her stuff and left.
My mother seemed to take Robin’s leaving in stride which I’d found strange at the time, but as I thought about it maybe she had gotten tired of the arguing. Kenny, however, took it the hardest because he and my sister were the closest. I visited her school to talk to her, but she refused to tell me why she never wanted to come home again, said that it was best that I just forget about it.
The only clue that she gave as to why she’d decided to cut us all off was some cryptic parting words when we parted.
“Please watch out for Kenny. She’s not well. I wish I were strong enough to stick around, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m sorry for letting this fall on your shoulders, but I need to do this for my own mental health.”
To this day I still didn’t understand what she’d meant. A few years back, I had gone to the UK for business and had coincidently met someone who knew Robin. Apparently, she’d moved to France with someone she’d met in school, and they were married.
As heartbreaking as it was that I had to find this information out from a stranger, I was glad she was happy. I’d tried to locate her when Kenny died, but I had no way of getting in contact with her. Maybe it was for the best. Her absence had been felt, at least by me. My mother didn’t bring her up.
“Don’t you ever think about her?” I wanted to gauge my mother’s thoughts because it was very