that much to me. I just wanted him to do what he wanted to do. But I knew it mattered to my parents.
My dad made a face. “Sean. He’s only a junior. There’s no telling if he’ll be able to manage the more advanced coursework—or the expenses of achieving a doctorate. He doesn’t have any familial support, and I assume his football food money, whatever that is worth, wouldn’t extend to graduate studies. And you don’t want to start out life with someone with a $100K in student debt. That’s even assuming he’s accepted and could get through the program.” He made it sound like it was more likely the heavens would open, and gold bars would rain down.
“And Harvard, darling,” my mom said earnestly. “I know you have a good head on your shoulders. Surely you wouldn’t give up the opportunity to go to Harvard for a… for a fling with a… a he-man. Please. Please be reasonable!”
“Don’t jeopardize your entire future. At least have the objectivity to do that much,” my dad agreed fervently.
“I don’t have to go to Harvard to be successful. Madison is top five, and their package gives me real-world research experience. And as for Bubba, you don’t know him!” I said. “You didn’t even try! He’s not just a he-man. God, Mom. Do you think I have no discernment at all?”
I wanted to cry. They didn’t see how gentle Bubba was or how optimistic and happy. The way he loved to help others, and teach, even me, even that first day at flag football. He was good. He had a good heart. And he saw the best possible Sean I could be. Why couldn’t they see that?
And okay, maybe they didn’t want to know or care about sex, but Bubba and I had chemistry. And that was not nothing.
“Listen,” my dad said in a soothing voice. “We’re all getting upset here, and that’s not helpful. Can I propose a compromise? You will admit that Bubba is the first man you’ve ever gone out with, yes?”
I glared at him but nodded.
“Well, no scientist worth his salt would form a hypothesis on the basis of a lone sample. So would you at least agree to go out with Jeremiah? Just spend a little time with him, talk to him, get to know a, well, a different sort of young man. Get a broader basis for making a judgment.”
“It’s important, Sean,” my mom pleaded. “You’re talking about giving up Harvard! That’s such a wonderful opportunity. Not to mention the inadvisability of making a long-term commitment to an individual on the basis of a few short weeks. You need to allow yourself the time, and the exposure to other options, to make a realistic assessment. Surely you see that it must be an informed choice.”
I wiped my face. I was surprised to find it wet. “If I do that, if I agree to meet this Jeremiah, will you support me if I decide to stay at Madison?”
My mom and dad did that secret-eye-language thing again. My mom spoke, “If you agree to go out on at least two dates with Jeremiah, and afterward, you still want to remain at Madison, we’ll support that.”
“But you have to give him a fair shot,” my dad qualified.
I could see the logic in their argument. I was inexperienced. I knew how I felt about Bubba, but could it be naivete? Surely, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be more informed. If I kept it an intellectual exercise, Bubba would understand, wouldn’t he? It wasn’t like I would sleep with this Jeremiah or even kiss him. I’d meet him, that was all.
I nodded. “Fine. I agree.”
The next day, my parents dropped us off at the Amtrak station for the train back to Madison. The train wasn’t crowded, and Bubba and I got seats next to the window, facing each other in an otherwise empty aisle.
Bubba had been unusually quiet that morning as we’d had breakfast and said goodbye to my parents. I was glad to finally have a chance to talk to him though I wasn’t sure how to say what I needed to say.
“Bubba?”
He looked up from his phone. In the daylight from the window, his eyes looked tired and red-rimmed. “Yeah, Sean?”
I took a breath. “Um… so… I had a conversation with my parents last night. They asked me to do something. And I know you won’t like it, but I think it probably has some merit and—”
He held up