of me, not Patrick’s.
Neither of us said a word, neither of us moved an inch.
Even though we weren’t quite touching, I could feel him through the heavy summer air. Last night we’d been pressed together, hip to hip, heart to heart, but he felt so much closer now. His hand reached for my face and I felt the very tips of his fingers graze my cheek.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, breaking away and taking one small step backwards.
Then another, then another.
‘I’m really sorry, John.’
He opened his mouth to say something but, before he could, I bent over to take off my shoes, turned back towards the Carriage House and ran.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
‘Where have you been hiding?’ Patrick asked as I dashed back into the baby shower.
‘I was outside,’ I said, slipping my feet back into my shoes and looking around for Sumi or Adrian or Lucy, anyone I could talk to.
‘Are you OK?’ He pressed the back of his hand against my forehead. ‘Do you feel all right? You’re quite warm.’
‘I need some water,’ I replied, my cheeks still hot and flushed. I certainly couldn’t talk to Patrick. ‘Are you going to tell me Lucy’s baby names or what?’
‘Sorry, I made a promise,’ he replied, holding his hand against his chest in mock shock. ‘But if you want to try to wrestle it out of me, I won’t stop you.’
‘Maybe we should go,’ I suggested. Lucy was back in her chair, surrounded by her acolytes, and Sumi was nowhere to be seen. Adrian, however, was by the bar, sipping a carrot juice smoothie and gazing into the eyes of a girl with long black coils all the way down her back. They were staring at each other so intently, it looked as though they were checking for cataracts. I was so happy for them both but something inside me swelled with sadness. I just wanted to leave.
‘Already?’ Patrick asked, almost disbelieving with relief. ‘You mean I don’t have to stay and schmooze?’
‘It’s OK,’ I told him, one eye on the back door. ‘You’re not here to win over my friends.’
Still no sign of John.
‘I’m not?’ He was understandably confused. ‘Then why am I here? I certainly didn’t come to play What’s in the Nappy.’
‘You came to be here, with me,’ I said, nodding and busying my hands by straightening his tie. ‘You’re here because I’m here. We’re here together.’
‘But we could be together at my place,’ he whispered in my ear. ‘Just the two of us, no one else. Wouldn’t that be more fun?’
Yes, I told myself, that’s what I wanted. What I’d always wanted. What I finally had. I turned my face up to meet him and pressed my lips to his and pushed away any and all thoughts of John McMahon.
‘Let me find my jacket and we’ll sneak out,’ I said, running my hand down the front of his body, hooking my fingers in his waistband. If only I’d gone over to his flat the night before instead of meeting Sumi and going to that stupid disco. ‘I’ll meet you out front in a minute.’
Patrick did not need telling twice. Without a second thought of his new best friend Lucy, he strode out of the party and straight down the rabbit warren, while I searched for my denim jacket. I’d had it when I arrived and I’d put it down when …
‘I helped them move the giant rabbit,’ I whispered to myself. There it was, a stonewash sleeve poking out from underneath the rabbit’s left bum cheek. Creeping over, I bobbed down, trying to balance in my heels and long dress, and grabbed hold of the jacket. I tugged gently, but nothing happened.
‘What are you doing?’
I looked up to see John looming over me.
‘Clearly, I am trying to get my jacket out from underneath this rabbit,’ I replied, yanking harder. ‘What does it look like I’m doing?’
‘Running away from a difficult conversation or molesting a giant stuffed animal.’
‘I’m not running away,’ I said, gripping the jacket with both hands. Why did a rabbit need to be so bloody heavy? ‘I’m leaving to spend the rest of the day with my boyfriend.’
‘In that case, why don’t you let me help you,’ John said, bending over to grab a handful of denim. He heaved my jacket out from under the wobbling rabbit and threw it into my arms. ‘Here.’
The bunny teetered behind me as I stared at him, clutching my jacket to me like a safety blanket. I wanted to say something,