with each other than she had been with me.”
“What did you do?”
“Me? Nothing.”
“You didn’t confront the two of them?”
“No. There was no need. What’s done was done.”
Her heart went out to him. She knew what it was like to count on something, just to have it all go sour. But, as she thought of how hard she’d tried with Paul, Lucy couldn’t help but feel that Calvin had given up too easily.
“Calvin, if you still love her, you should fight for her, don’t you think?”
“I don’t love her. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever did. And as for Will . . . well, I would never fight my best friend.” He got to his feet in a rush. “It’s all over, Lucy. It’s done. Gwen found someone else, and had found someone else for some time before she told me. She lied to me. So did Will. And when I discovered the truth, there was nothing left to do but to live with their decisions.”
He exhaled and started pacing. “Gwen and Will’s friendship are part of my past, not my future. And there’s no point complaining and wishing things were different. All I have to do is find a way to live with it.” He stepped away, his body matching the emotional distance that had formed between the two of them.
Still sitting, Lucy looked at his broad shoulders and straight back and thought about how strong he was. He was a man who could handle many burdens. But there was more to him than strength. He could be hurt, too. But instead of hurting back, he swallowed the pain.
“Calvin . . . ?”
After what felt like forever, he turned to her again. Lucy saw the tension in his face and knew he was waiting for her to tease him about being jilted.
Or to chide him about not sharing more of his feelings. But she knew all about hiding feelings . . . and having them discovered. And along the way, she’d also come to understand that keeping bad things hidden didn’t make them any easier to deal with.
It just made them harder to face.
Quietly, she stood up and crossed the short distance to him. “Though you came over here for Mattie’s sake . . . I’m glad you did. It was gut to see you today.” And because she was eager to touch him, to reassure, she pressed her hands to his upper arms. Just for a second. Just enough to show him that she cared.
Bit by bit, the wariness that had frozen his expression thawed and that longing she’d spied earlier reappeared. “I’m glad you are glad, Lucy.” Reaching out, he trailed his fingers down her arm. “I’m probably doing this all wrong—but I want you to know . . . I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.” A half smile formed on his lips as his fingers linked through hers again. “Or touching you.”
Daring to smile, she shook her head. She liked his touch. And she loved that he was thinking about her. After all, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. “You aren’t doing this all wrong at all. For the first time, everything feels right.”
With care, Calvin wrapped his arms around her and enfolded her in a hug. His arms were loose, giving her space and the choice to step away.
But Lucy didn’t want to. Instead of moving away, she rested her head on his shoulder. Inhaling, she smelled his clean scent. Felt the muscles of his chest under her cheek.
And for the first time in days—or maybe it was years?—Lucy felt at peace.
Chapter 24
Calvin noticed his gloves were caked with mud when they were already halfway to Wal-Mart. As he kept a firm hand on Beauty, while waiting at a stoplight, he couldn’t help but stare at the worn leather: The gloves were stiff and uncomfortable; tiny bits of dirt flew off of them each time he clutched the reins. Truly, he should have cleaned them before the drive. Why was he just now noticing their state?
“Calvin. The light has turned,” his mother gently prodded.
After making sure no cars had run the light, he motioned Beauty forward.
“You seem more quiet than usual today. Is something wrong?”
“Nothing of importance.”
“How is the plowing coming along?”
“About the same as ever. Slow.”
“Perhaps the rain will come soon. We could use it.”
“It would be a blessing,” he mumbled, suddenly recalling how much he’d hoped for an end to the storms when he’d