badly is an understatement.
I shove open the small metal door that leads to the loading bay in the alley that runs alongside the bar. Clasp my hands behind my head and bow in the middle as the memories of that weekend trickle like rancid oil through my mind.
Jessa’s tears as she climbed into the passenger seat of Ryder’s Jeep and left the party with him. Her words, clear as a bell, telling me we were done.
Ryder’s fist breaking my nose by the pool the next morning. The sickening crunch. My pounding head.
My father watching us without a single word.
Mom screaming at us to stop before the salt water swallowed me.
My phone beeps, and I light up the screen like it can push the darkness in me away.
“Oh fuck.” It’s Hud. Does he know? Did Lily tell him what happened the other night? What if she called when she was drunk and told him we kissed? My heart hammers in my chest and I’m suddenly light-headed. Okay, breathe. There’s no way it would take him this long to contact me if that was the case.
I tap into the message.
Hud: I need you to do me a favor.
Me: What is it?
Hud: Family dinner with Lily. I feel bad I’m not going to be back tonight.
If he knew what happened between us he wouldn’t be asking me to spend the evening with Lily. That eases my panic. If he knew, he’d be here in person pummelling my stupid ass for not stopping it before it got to her sweet mouth sucking mustard off my finger.
My dick twitches, and I grimace. I don’t want to be anywhere near Lily. I shouldn’t be anywhere near her. She might not be Hud’s version of innocent, but she’s sweet and unguarded and full of sunshine. And I’m not.
Thank Christ, he doesn’t know and Lily doesn’t remember.
It’s in my best interest to put some space between her and I. For a little while. At least when it’s only the two of us.
Me: I’m sure she doesn’t mind.
Hud: I mind. This’ll be the last family dinner until she comes home from L.A. And I can’t be there. So you’ve got to be. Do it for your best pal?
I rest against the brick side of the building, prop my foot on the wall. Normally I’d do this favor for him because it’s Lily. Beautiful, untouchable Lily. Who normally looks at me like I’m one of the good guys. But that is exactly why I should give her the space to get over her crush.
Me: I’m at work.
Hud: So get her to meet you at the bar. Take her for a burger. Just do it.
How am I going to get out of this? There has to be something that will get him off my back about his sister.
Me: What about Jane? Can’t she have dinner with Lily?
Hud: She’s staying with her parents until I get back. And her grandma is in town. Do you not want to spend time with Lily?
Me: It’s not that.
Hud: Did something happen? Are you keeping shit from me?
I rub the back of my neck. Exhale. Of course now he’s suspicious. Good job, dumb ass.
Hud’s not going to drop this, and I don’t think she remembers much from that night so maybe if I’m the only one with the problem here it would be easier to agree. Perhaps it isn’t even the big deal I’m making it out to be.
It’s not like we’re going to have a repeat of the other night, so it should be okay to spend some time with her. Especially with her heading to L.A. to work on that hotel refurb she landed. By the time she comes back, what happened—that entire evening—will be long forgotten.
Me: Fine. I’ll cancel my dinner date and take your sister instead.
Hud: You had a dinner date?
Of course not. What possessed me to come up with such an implausible lie? If he wasn’t suspicious before that was a great way to make him think something is up. I need a cover for my lie, quick.
Me: Well, it was going to be more of a storeroom thing.
Hud: Ha! Of course it was.
Me: Jackass.
Hud: Thanks for doing this. I owe you one.
Me: Damn right, you do.
That’s better. Crisis averted. Hud probably suspects I’m irritated because I need a release. He has no idea that I’ve one-handedly wrung so much fluid out of the Captain this week that I should be starting to chafe. And every time it starts with recalling