questioning me about who has access to the apartment, my relationship with the few people I knew of who had keys and what was, or wasn't, missing. The rotund officer had me feeling a bit better by the time he finished taking notes and went to find the younger, female officer.
“Um, Miss Neumann, can we talk to you for a minute out here?” Colton stood to follow me into the bedroom but I motioned for him to stay.
“Yeah, what's up?” I asked. The female officer was crouched in front of my closet, an unfamiliar box in her hands.
“Can you explain this?” She turned to face me, the open box in her hands.
“I've never seen that before.” I shrugged, wondering what was so important about that particular box.
The officer raised her eyebrow, tilting the box to show me the contents. My heart sank and I knew she'd found the real reason someone came into my apartment while I was gone. “Are you trying to tell me that this box, which we found in your bedroom closet, does not belong to you?”
Completely frustrated, I gripped my hair tightly in my fingers and let out a shriek. “That's exactly what I'm telling you! Why can't you people understand that someone's trying to screw with my life? They obviously left that where you'd find it. Do you think I'm stupid enough that I wouldn't have gotten rid of something like that if it was mine?”
Colton burst into the room. “What's going on in here?”
“Sir, can you please wait in the other room?” The older officer requested. When he stepped closer to me, the officer spoke again. “Sir, we need to talk to Miss Neumann alone.”
“Maddie, are you going to be okay?” At least he had the good sense to refer to me by my given name in front of the officers. The last thing I needed in the midst of this nightmare was to have to explain the dual names thing. I shook my head, fighting my stomach's efforts to expel its contents.
“Call Jon, tell him to get in touch with Cal. I think this is going to get much worse before it gets better.” As much as I wanted to shout from the rooftops that the box wasn't mine, that I was being set up, I knew the best thing I could do was say nothing.
“What the fuck? Your home was broken into and you need a lawyer? Someone better tell me what's going on here.” That's when he saw the box, which the female officer had placed on the bed. “Jesus, Maddie! I thought you got over that shit years ago.” I will never forget the look in his eyes when he saw the box containing three baggies of cocaine sitting on my bed.
Yes, there had been a time in my life when I'd falling in deep with the wrong crowd, snorting my way from one party to the next. It was a short but painful time in my life.
When I got back to Portland from the visit that had me believing my family would never understand me or love the person that I had become, I wallowed in Southern Comfort and cocaine almost every night. I knew it was only masking the pain but I needed the pain to go away, even if it was for short periods of time. When I couldn't afford to score a fix, I slept with my dealer, ran errands for him, did whatever it took to avoid the withdrawals.
A few months later, I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got busted. Because I was a first time offender with an otherwise spotless record, I was given the opportunity to go through inpatient rehab and be placed on probation for a year, provided I kept my nose clean. It was through one of the counselors there that I met Travis, and subsequently Colton and Jon.
“You've been with me every single day. Do you really think I could have hidden something like this from you?” Colton's eyes were fixed on a spot near his feet, unable to look at me. “Colt.” I moved towards him, willing him to lift his face to see me. “Baby, you know that's not mine. Tell them!”
“Maddie, I want to believe you. Dammit, I hope you're right because that's some serious shit there.” He brushed my shoulder before turning to leave, “I'll make the call. Don't say anything.”
Colton's footsteps echoed through the apartment and I flinched