stiff breeze whipped my hair around and stung my eyes. There wasn’t a soul around as I made my way down the pier to the chain link fence.
“Lorelei! ” I called desperately, watching the water churning around the broken chunks of concrete, “Are you there? Please come out... ”
The water was covered with a froth of whitecaps. I saw no sign of life as I looked down, disappointed. I stood there for a while, face pressed against the wire, wishing fervently her coppery head would pop out of the foamy water. I wondered if she could be down by the part I had climbed out onto before. I grabbed hold of the wire and climbed up it like I did the day of my first trip to the buoy. I reached the end and leaned out as far as I could from the boat to get a better look. Nothing. I picked my way back down to the deck.
I turned around to see Ethan standing behind me, arms crossed. He looked furious. I stood there, wind blowing hair into my face, not knowing what to say. He turned and walked away.
“Ethan?” I called out to him, but the wind drowned out my voice.
I wanted to go after him, to ask him to forgive me, to promise I’d never lie again. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and tell me it would be alright. I just stood there frozen, watching him walk away. I slumped down onto the bench, head in my hands. I was so very tired.
I made my way back home slowly, dreading the night ahead.
I sat down to dinner with Cruz and Abby and tried to eat. Cruz was still obsessed with finalizing his design, and I listened politely as he went on and on about his plans for the gown to end all gowns. Abby was strangely preoccupied with a pile of cookbooks she had been poring over, and I wondered why the sudden interest in improving her cooking. I was relieved that neither one of them took any notice of my foul mood. I excused myself to my room.
The cat was waiting for me on the bed and jumped into my lap as I sat down. I stroked him absentmindedly, tears blurring my vision as I thought about the look on Ethan’s face. I knew that he wouldn’t understand why I went to see Lorelei again, but I never thought he’d get so angry about it. I felt like I had ruined it with him, and I was acutely aware that he was the only person in the world that I could talk to about my strange secret.
Charlie nuzzled my hands when I stopped petting him, making me smile despite the sense of doom that was closing in on me. Darkness was falling, and I desperately wanted to sleep, but I was afraid. I usually slept in my underwear and a t-shirt, but I kept my jeans on just in case. I moved the chair against the door as a barricade and curled up around Charlie.
“Wake me up if I try to leave,” I told the cat, before drifting off into a fitful sleep.
I woke up to see the sun streaming into the window. My night had been filled with watery dreams and I had started awake multiple times, finding myself sitting up or standing next to the bed. I was tired but relieved; happy to see the chair still propped up against the door as I got ready for school.
Ethan kept his distance from me the rest of the week, and didn’t show up for art class.
Sometimes I could see him watching me from the cluster of surfers, but he always looked away when our eyes met. The girls in the group immediately sensed the tension between us. They smiled smugly at me, and I knew they were happy to see the rift grow. I noticed that a couple of the surfers had gotten buzz cuts to imitate his, but I found little humor in it.
Cruz proclaimed me ready, and took me down for my official driving test. I was happy for the distraction and lucky I was able to pass despite my increasing weariness. I called Evie to share the news and we planned a visit to the city after Cruz finished her dress. I tried to find Lorelei a few more times with no luck; it seemed as if even the mermaids were avoiding me now.
I felt like I was