crying. I was bitterly disappointed that the sleepwalking didn’t seem to be ending, and now Ethan was being hurt by it.
He just held me, telling me it was going to be alright, until I fell back into a fitful sleep.
I spent my afternoons with Cruz and Megan. It made me uneasy to see how they watched me, constantly on the lookout for any strange behavior, but I went along with it willingly, encouraging Ethan to get out and surf as much as he possibly could.
The waves were big, and the contest was on for Saturday. A storm brewing off the coast was creating large ocean swells, making the surfers very happy. I was frustrated, wishing I could go and watch Ethan compete, but I knew that my presence there would be a distraction. It turned out that going to Evie’s that day would serve a dual purpose.
I woke up early on Saturday and quietly watched Ethan as he slept. His chest rose and fell gently, and his lips turned up in the tiniest smile, as though he were in the middle of a sweet dream. I had to fight the urge to kiss his eyelids, to run my finger down the length of his nose, to nibble on his ear.
He was so heartrendingly perfect he took my breath away. I wondered how I could have been so lucky to have met him, much less have him sacrifice so much of his time for me. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. I think I fell for him the first moment I laid eyes on him, but over the weeks my feelings had grown and grown. I had to admit that I was in love – deeply, endlessly, hopelessly, head over heels in love.
Acknowledging it to myself was more than a little alarming. I knew that Ethan cared for me, I just wasn’t sure he felt it quite so acutely. I also knew he was protective of me, which made me love him even more, but I didn’t want him to see me as needy and helpless. He’d been careful not to get too physical on his overnight stays, and I took this as a sign that his feelings were more muted.
It was different during the day. At school the heat coming off of him was intoxicating, and we were always looking for some secluded doorway in which we could kiss and cuddle, hidden away from our curious classmate’s stares. The mixed signals were maddening, and only made me want him even more.
Friday night had been a good one, with no sleepwalking. I hoped I hadn’t woken him in the night, but I couldn’t be entirely sure. Some vague, diaphanous memories of dreams hovered frustratingly just beyond my ability to recall them, refusing to leave me in peace. I felt like I was missing the obvious – as though I couldn’t see something that hovered right before my eyes. The situation had to change soon, for my feelings were so strong they scared me, and I was afraid I was on the verge of losing control.
I wanted him to get some rest before the tournament, so I sat up slowly and stealthily tried to unhook the surfboard leash. I just about had it off when hands snaked around my waist, and I was pulled back down, giggling.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me.
“I wanted to let you sleep,” I said, snuggling up against him.
He kissed my ear and muttered, “Mmm, you’re not making this easy on me.” I blushed, suddenly shy. I sat up and unlatched myself with a smile, “I didn’t wake up last night.” He ran his fingers up and down my spine, making me squirm.
“I wish we could stay here all day,” he said.
“Are you trying to get me in trouble with Cruz?”
“Who... me?” he said, his lazy eyes smiling.
I got up and gathered my clothes for the trip to San Francisco. Evie liked to see me dressed up, and I didn’t plan to disappoint. It looked like a cold blustery day, so I chose accordingly, picking a pair of tall black boots, patterned tights, a short leather skirt and a gorgeous cashmere sweater. I left to go change in the bathroom.
Cleaned up, made up and changed, I looked like a different person. A city girl. I knew Evie would approve. I came back into my room to find the bed empty.
“Ethan?” I closed the door to find him standing behind