beads around her neck.
I sat down and casually asked, “Abby, what was my father like back then? I mean, back before I was born.”
She looked thoughtful, “We lost our parents when we were very young. Martin was so strong– he always looked out for me. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for him.”
“Abby, what do you know about my mother?”
She saddened, paused and said, “I only met her once.” She looked at me solemnly, “The day you were born.”
I pressed her, “Tell me about that day.”
She sized me up, speculating as to whether I was ready to hear the story. She nodded.
“I got a call from Martin– he was beside himself. He was calling from a hospital in San Francisco. At first I thought he was hurt, but then he blurted out that his wife was in labor, and things were going badly. He was so upset... I never heard him sound so desperate.” She explained that dad had never told her about his whirlwind romance and marriage.
“I don’t know where he met her, but I guess it was love at first sight. They just eloped without telling anyone. I figured he didn’t want to hurt me, because of... well, you know. Cruz was six months old then. I loaded him in the car and hurried to the hospital.”
“And you met her,” I said.
“Yes. When I got there your dad was a wreck. I talked to the doctor and he said there were complications, and that she had refused to end the pregnancy despite the warnings. He said she wanted to see me...” her voice caught in her throat, “Your dad was in no shape to do anything, so I brought Cruz in with me to see her... Adria.” She paused, sighing sadly.
“Go on,” I urged.
“She was so beautiful… you look just like her. She was terribly pale, but her eyes– her eyes were happy, triumphant. When she saw Cruz, she just lit up. She touched her belly and told me that you were a girl, and that your name was Marina. She said I would need to help Martin. She wanted to hold Cruz, but the monitor went off...” her eyes filled with tears as her voice trailed off.
“Keep going,” I said, intense.
“They hustled me out of the room, and things just went wrong,” she looked at me sadly,
“And you were born. Your dad just fell apart. It was scary– I’d never seen him like that. I filled out the forms to give you the name she picked. Martin was totally numb with grief. He kept saying it was his fault, he should have left her alone...” It was hard for me to imagine my dad like that. He was always so even-keeled, steady and calm.
“He loved her so much he just kinda shut down. He was in no shape to take care of a baby. I stayed at the hospital that night and took you home with Cruz the next day.” She looked at me with a sad smile, “Your dad threw himself into his work, his traveling. I think he was afraid to see you, to be reminded of her. One day when you were about nine months old Martin showed up.”
“So I used to live here.” I wasn’t much surprised. I had been comfortable here from the first moment I arrived.
Abby went on, “He took one look at you and it was like the fog lifted. I could see his heart healing right before my eyes. The two of you bonded instantly. He moved in with us for a few weeks and when he left he took you with him.”
“Where did he take me?” I asked.
“He had just gotten an endowment at the university, and he moved you into the San Francisco apartment,” she smiled sadly at the memory, “It broke my heart to let you go, but I could see that you belonged together. Poor Cruz, he missed you so much.” I was quiet for a moment, “Thanks for telling me, Abby.” We hugged each other and I looked up to see Cruz standing there. I left them alone and went to my room.
I had figured that my mother wanted me, but now I knew she had knowingly sacrificed her life for mine. It was sad to hear how much her death had affected my dad. Hearing the story made it easier to forgive him for not telling me the truth, and the little flame of resentment I was harboring flickered out.