I admit. “It was easier for me not to know when you were calling or to read your texts so I could get over you. My heart was breaking, but as much as it hurt, I wanted to move on."
He lowers his gaze and shakes his head. "I don't blame you. My heart’s been breaking the second you said goodbye the day I dropped you off."
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t know where we stood. Those two weeks at the cabin were the best of us, and I thought it was over now that we were home. Instead of just asking you, I froze. Like an idiot.” He chuckles.
“I did too,” I tell him honestly. “I wasn’t sure what to say or if you wanted to even have a discussion, so I just pretended it wasn’t an issue.” I shrug, feeling flushed and stupid now that I say it aloud to him. “I was nervous and lost the courage to tell you how I really felt.”
“How did you really feel?” he asks.
I watch the fire, listening to the wood snap and pop. "I need to know something first...is there anything going on with you and Rachelle?"
Ryan's eye flick over to me. "What do you mean?"
"I saw she called you the night of the rehearsal dinner when you got up, then she showed up at the wedding like you two were a couple. Did you get back together?" I ask, and it causes a spike of adrenaline to rush through me. Ryan doesn't immediately answer but seems confused.
"No, Kendall. Absolutely not. I didn’t invite her. I wouldn’t do that to you..." he reassures me.
I almost smile, but somehow hold it back. "Then...why did—"
He places his hand on top of mine again, and just his touch causes goose bumps to trail over my body.
He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear as he smiles at me. "She had called me earlier that day to tell me Joey was sick with a fever and coughing. He’s not vaccinated, and Rachelle was nervous, so I told her to give him some meds and keep me updated. That evening, she called to tell me he was doing better and to thank me for my help. That’s all it was."
My face contorts. "That’s it? Then why’d she show up at the reception?"
“She asked if I had a date, and when I said no, she said she’d come, but I indirectly told her not to worry about it. I guess she took that as an invitation, and when she showed up, I didn’t want to be rude or cause a scene at my sister’s wedding. We’re only friends, nothing else,” he explains wholeheartedly.
Guilt washes over me. I made him out to be the bad guy and thought the absolute worst of him. “I feel stupid for assuming,” I admit. “But I don’t have the best track record with men so—”
"Don’t,” he interrupts. “You're the only woman I want, Kendall. I knew the moment we left the cabin, and then the next day when I woke up and you weren't next to me. Hell, I knew days into our sex-only agreement that I’d want more. I haven't been able to get you off my mind, and it's nearly killed me not having you in my life."
My breathing increases as he says the most amazing things to me—words I’ve been dying to hear. "I owe you an apology too, and I'm not always good at admitting I was wrong, but I should’ve given you the chance to explain before I blew you off completely. However, in my defense, I was really hurt by what you said and reacted out of emotion."
“You had every right to. This is my fault, not yours. I should’ve manned up and told you how I felt, so Eli didn’t even have to question it. So, lesson learned,” he says with a chuckle.
“I think we both learned something here,” I admit. “I should’ve confessed how I felt.”
Ryan leans forward and brushes his lips against mine as he holds me closer. I moan into his mouth as our tongues twist together, and it feels like heaven being back in his arms.
When we break apart, I place my palm against his cheek. "I'm in love with you, Ryan."
He traces his lips with mine before resting his forehead against mine. "Fuck, that feels good to hear.” He laughs. “I've never felt this way about anyone, Kendall. It scares the shit outta me, but I’m not gonna run