myself out of here. Ryan’s been busy on his laptop all morning, so I don't want to disturb him.
He looks up from his screen when I stand. When our eyes meet, a gush of excitement courses through me. It’s ridiculous how much he affects me just by being here with me.
"Where ya going?"
"Was thinking a hot shower might be good."
Ryan chews on his lip with his perfect teeth. "Have fun."
"I will," I say, popping a brow, then walking upstairs.
Once I’m in the bathroom, I grab my razor and shaving cream along with body butter, then turn on the water. Once it's warm, I step inside and let the stream fall over my body. When I close my eyes, all I can think about is Ryan and the way it feels when he touches or kisses me. It hasn't even been a full week since we agreed to “only sex,” but all those underlying feelings I've held back over the years are boiling over. I'm already getting attached to him, and I'm scared to death I'm falling for him. The way he looks at me is enough to bring me to my knees. I don't know how I'm going to go back to my life before being with him. It's possible Ryan St. James has broken me and ruined me for all men.
After I shave my legs, I scrub my arms and legs with the body butter. Ryan thought my skin was soft before, but now I can't wait for him to touch me after this. I take my time, allowing my mind to wander, and I decide that as soon as I'm out of the shower, I need to call Cami.
She's the only person who understands us both on a personal level and can talk me off the emotional ledge.
Once my hair is cleaned, I allow the strong beads of water to massage my back, then I suck in a deep breath and get out.
My skin is steaming as I dry off and wrap myself in a fluffy robe. After I twist my hair up into a towel, I grab my phone to FaceTime my best friend.
"Hey, future sister-in-law! What's up?" She answers on the second ring.
"Just wanted to chat and see how things are going over there while I get ready."
"Get ready for what?"
I blush at the thought of what tonight will be. "I guess to seduce your brother?" Laughing, I shrug. “Not that it’s much of a challenge at this point.”
She smiles wide, then makes an obnoxious gagging noise because I know she doesn’t want to hear details. "How's it going between you two? Engaged yet?"
I suck in a deep breath as she watches me. There's no way I can hide how I feel when she's right in front of me like this. "I...well. It's going amazing. But that’s kinda the problem."
She furrows her brows. "How is that a problem? Honestly, you both needed to get laid, and I’m glad you two decided to finally fuck it out."
I snort, remembering our recent conversation about how he used to drive me crazy. "It’s not so much a problem because the sex is…I’ll spare you the intimate details, but it’s amazing. I’ve never felt the kind of connection during sex like I do with him. But now the issue is my heart.” I suck in a breath as I think of my next words. “I'm confused because I can’t catch feelings and—"
"But you are,” she says. “And you don't know where this will lead, and you’re getting all in your head about it."
I grin. "Yes, exactly."
I move to the vanity and pull my hair out of the towel, then brush it.
"Honestly, you can't cross out being in a genuine relationship with him. And maybe he used his job as an excuse in his previous relationships because he wasn’t ready for something so serious. He’s changed, and even if he doesn’t see that, I do,” she explains. “Plus, I selfishly want the two of you to fall madly in love, get married, and have babies so our kids can be cousins.”
I burst out laughing, but it warms my heart. That sounds amazing even though it's a really far-fetched reality.
“Honestly, I think he has a lot to work through, and he hasn't found the right woman yet. But you're exactly what he needs in life, Kendall. He's always had a thing for you even though he’d never admit it. I love my brother, but when it comes to his family, he’s a