Natalie, her prayers for someone to love. But she knew now that she had been wrong. Tragically wrong.
Now broken, she stood under the portico of the Camfields’ house as the signposts of the past paraded through her mind. The letter from Evangeline Magrit that had convicted her so deeply. The trepidation she’d felt about dating Cole from the beginning. Even the dreams she’d had—dreams in which Nathan was alive and real. How many times had she ignored God’s portents? Finally she had simply turned her back on him and gone her own way, pretending all the while that the things that seemed good in her life were from God.
She had become so wrapped up in her relationship with Cole, had been so relieved to find happiness with him, that she had not wanted to face the possibility that Cole might not be in God’s plan for her.
And until now, it had worked. She and Cole had been happy. Cole was a wonderful man and a loving father to Natalie. And she did love him with a true, unselfish love. But theirs was a marriage God had not intended. She knew that now—now that it was too late.
Now where did all this leave Natalie? Would this put her daughter in the middle of a huge custody battle? And what about the baby in her womb? It still galled her to think of the Camfields’ assumption that she would leave Cole as easily as she might toss out a pair of too-tight shoes. The Camfields knew that she was carrying Cole’s child. Why did they think that she would choose the father of one of her children over another?
In anguish Daria realized how many people she had dragged into this devastating maelstrom by refusing to heed God’s gentle leading so many months ago. Would any of them survive the turbulence now?
The garage door opened, and the Camfields’ car rolled down the drive and into the street, Jack and Vera’s eyes straight ahead. Daria forced herself to get in her own car. But she couldn’t follow them. She couldn’t face Nate just yet. Instead she sat numbly, bowed over the steering wheel. “Father, this is all my fault.”
Those five simple words opened a floodgate, and Daria stood face to face with the truth of her own guilt. Sick at heart, she slumped in the seat and put her face in her hands. “Oh, Father,” she groaned, “what have I done? I’ve caused such sorrow for all the people I love the most. I didn’t mean to, Lord. But I-I should have listened to you. I went my own way and now—I’m so sorry. Please don’t let Nattie suffer for my stubbornness. Please, God, don’t let this cause any bitterness to grow in Cole’s heart or in Nate’s.”
The tears came then. Great racking sobs that shook her body and drained her spirit. Finally she choked out the words, speaking them aloud in confession, “Forgive me, Father. And please show me where I belong now.”
She poured her heart out to God and found solace in the release of tears. It was such a comfort to finally have the freedom to be honest before God. She felt cradled in his arms, wrapped in his mysterious peace, and enveloped in a love that was eager to forgive. Her task now was to put the past behind her and to simply follow God’s leading, day by day.
She sat in the driveway crying out to God, mourning Nate, mourning Cole, as though she had lost them both to death. Finally she lay across the front seat of the car, spent, prostrate in her grief. When the murky haze of rain lifted and the afternoon sun peeked out only to sink quickly to the horizon, she sat up, straightened her clothes, and craned her neck to check her reflection in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen, and she tried in vain to blot away the dark circles that ringed them. Then she fastened her seat belt and turned the key in the ignition. The engine came to life, and Daria carefully maneuvered the car onto the street and turned toward the hospital.
Nathan stirred at the sound of his parents’ voices. His head felt swollen and heavy, and he struggled to open his eyes against the bright light that came from above him.
“Nathan? Wake up, son.”
“Dad?”
“It’s me, Nate. Your mom’s here too.”
“Hi, honey,” Vera said.
“Mom? Where’s Daria?” Daria had been here earlier today, he was sure of it.