you and say that I love that they’re such a big part of your life, because I don’t. I don’t like them, but I’ll tolerate them for you. I hate the way Nic put his hands on you and left you bruised and I hate the way you’re always so hurt every time you come back from seeing them, but if making things right with them and learning to forgive and forget is going to bring back your smile, then go to them and talk it out.”
“I …” A heavy breath escapes me and I force myself to hold back my tears. “I’m not ready to forgive them and I sure as hell will never forget.”
“You don’t have to forgive them, Ocean, not if they haven’t done anything to earn it, but you can talk to them and make your pain go away. I hate seeing you so down about this.”
I step out of his arms and meet his eyes. “You really think so?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’d prefer to spend my day buried deep inside of you, but you need to do this. You need those dickheads in your life. Just go and talk. You don’t have to come to any conclusions, but let them know where you stand, and hell, maybe give Sebastian a fucking hug or something … anything to get that fucker to stop calling every phone in my fucking house.”
I raise a brow. “He’s been calling the house?”
Colton doesn’t reply but his unimpressed scoff is answer enough. “Here,” he says, stepping across the kitchen and pressing his hand against the small screen that’s been built into the marble countertop. His hand is scanned and a second later, a small drawer pops out, displaying an impressive array of car keys. He picks up a small key and places it in my hand. “Take the Audi and go see them. Make it right or don’t, it doesn’t matter. Just go and see them and heal whatever part of your heart it is that’s been aching for them.”
I raise my chin and meet his eyes, curling my hand around the keys. “Are you sure?”
He dips his head and gently brushes his lips over mine. “I'm sure, but if I don’t hear from you throughout the day, I’m coming down there and bringing your stubborn ass home.”
Excitement begins filling me as well as fear. Am I really going to go back home and meet with my boys? The idea of seeing them again fills my heart with warmth, but the constant reminder of how we left things kills me.
I’m nowhere near ready to forgive them for all the secrets and lies, but to start mending the bridge between us … I don’t know. The thought has a spark of electricity burning within me.
When I saw them last, I told them I never wanted to see them again, but at the same time, they’re also my boys. They’re my family. How could I turn my back on something like that?
I look down at the mixing bowl with the pancake batter. “What about your breakfast?” I question, glancing back up at him.
“I’ll survive, Jade. Just go, I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”
A smile tears across my face and I press up onto my tippy-toes, crushing my lips against his. “I’ll be back for dinner,” I tell him before taking off like a bat out of hell and rushing toward the garage, not giving a damn about the fact that I haven’t showered, haven’t brushed my teeth, and haven’t gotten a fresh pair of panties after Colton ripped them off me. All that matters is mending the divide between me and my Widows and this time, I won’t be returning until things are right.
Chapter 10
The Audi drives like a dream as I speed down the road, pushing it to its absolute limits in my need to get back home to Breakers Flats.
I get to see my boys.
I really shouldn’t be so excited about that. I should be a ball of nerves. I should be carefully picking out the words that I’ll say, and I should be reminding myself of the reason I ran in the first place. They’re not good guys, they’re gangsters, murderers … liars. But above all, they’re my family. Always have been, always will be.
I love them without a doubt even when they force me to hate them. Why is it so hard to hate them?
I get to Breakers Flats in record time, somehow managing it without